Living in Nilai for two days taught me something: don’t go looking for newspaper after 11am. I went looking for it in four to five shops around that time but to no avail. Hah! It’s frustrating to find only one piece of newspaper left on the counter (found one in the 6th shop) and it was a tabloid. Had no choice but to buy it.
The front page caught my interest though. It’s on this exclusive survey the paper made on Malaysian bloggers and they likewise found out that most of them talk bollocks.
Do we?
They even question the credibility of blogs as a source of information. I have to agree that this blogging scene in Malaysia has grown popular these few years back. From people like me who blog to talk about everything under the sun to journalists, celebrities and even politician who blog on myriad of topics, everyone seems to own one.
And now the government is looking into the possibility of setting up a unit to monitor blogs.
Okay, perhaps there are some of us bloggers who has the tendency to lay it on thick, so it’s not always credible. But really, is there such need as to regulate?
Is there any such thing as freedom of speech?
Looking forward for the 'blog's law' though. If there happen to be any.
Living my life pathetically happy.
__Ib
Archives
.just mind the old man, will ya?.
sigh.
Pity him. After all he's done for Malaysia, he got this in return? I have a love-hate with him, for what he had done and what he should have not done. But i dont think a pepper spray attack was a good way to stop the old man from speaking out. He built Malaysia, he has the right to say whatever he wants to say.
.image courtesy from thestar.com.my.
sigh. i feel sorry for him. really really sorry. this isn't a good photo to post in my blog.
Living my life pathetically happy.
__Ib
Pity him. After all he's done for Malaysia, he got this in return? I have a love-hate with him, for what he had done and what he should have not done. But i dont think a pepper spray attack was a good way to stop the old man from speaking out. He built Malaysia, he has the right to say whatever he wants to say.
.image courtesy from thestar.com.my.
sigh. i feel sorry for him. really really sorry. this isn't a good photo to post in my blog.
Living my life pathetically happy.
__Ib
.when i feel like to.
i feel like typing something.
*long pause*
but come to think of it, what's the point of this whole blogging thing anyway?
to tell the whole world about who i am? like they care.
to tell the whole world about the on going in my atmosphere? like they care.
to tell the whole world about my opinion on things? like i care.
some people blog as they pleased. some for fun. some to look cool. some just for the heck of it. some for practice of writing.
still, i cant see the point of why I blog at the first place and become addicted to it. i do remember that i started to blog when i came across abby's page and thought to myself that it's a good place to start polishing my writing skill and since i have nothing better to do at home (i was in muar at that time) i might as well, start one my own.
Then my ex started to join in, and this blogging thing became the starting point of our fight. I stop for a while, for my own sake, before started to blog again end of last year. And still doing it regularly.
But really, what's the use of having a blog?
Never mind that.
Spent some days with Muzzo. The guy helped me to let loose. I was going bonkers. We were at the Putrajaya bridge watching sunset (in the haze) and boats (waving at the passengers) in a windy weather ala titanic or something, when i realized i miss myself. Or, am i confused?
Sheesh i'm going gila. Questioning stuff i've never should have ask.
Living my life pathetically happy.
__Ib
*long pause*
but come to think of it, what's the point of this whole blogging thing anyway?
to tell the whole world about who i am? like they care.
to tell the whole world about the on going in my atmosphere? like they care.
to tell the whole world about my opinion on things? like i care.
some people blog as they pleased. some for fun. some to look cool. some just for the heck of it. some for practice of writing.
still, i cant see the point of why I blog at the first place and become addicted to it. i do remember that i started to blog when i came across abby's page and thought to myself that it's a good place to start polishing my writing skill and since i have nothing better to do at home (i was in muar at that time) i might as well, start one my own.
Then my ex started to join in, and this blogging thing became the starting point of our fight. I stop for a while, for my own sake, before started to blog again end of last year. And still doing it regularly.
But really, what's the use of having a blog?
Never mind that.
Spent some days with Muzzo. The guy helped me to let loose. I was going bonkers. We were at the Putrajaya bridge watching sunset (in the haze) and boats (waving at the passengers) in a windy weather ala titanic or something, when i realized i miss myself. Or, am i confused?
Sheesh i'm going gila. Questioning stuff i've never should have ask.
Living my life pathetically happy.
__Ib
I've been tagged by dear Hana.
The rules:-
The tag victim has to come up with 8 different points of his/her perfect lover
- have to mention the gender of his/her perfect lover
- Tag eight other victim to join this game and leave a comment on their blog
- If you are tagged for the second time, there is NO need to do this again
Lastly, Most importantly, HAVE FUN DOING IT...
Okay so here goes the finding *ehem*
1- Physically fit, tall, healthy, beautiful eyes, great hair.(comes in one package)
2- Honest. In action, and in words. I dont fancy sweet shit. Received too much of it now it makes me sick. Talk can be cheap, action is expensive. (As quoted by muzzo)
3- Knows when to let me have my space, and be there for me when i need him.
4- Spontaneous.
5- Fun and funny. I need to be happy and have fun 24/7!
6- Loves me for who i am, cares for me by being supportive and protective.
7- Err...ermm..
8- Honestly, am not quite sure about this list. Perfect lover? What is perfect anyway? And say...if i found my perfect guy....will the guy who is physically fit, honest, knowledgeable and funny suits me?
Well, i tag anyone who feels like doing it and anyone who reads my blog. No specification here coz i ran out of names. Feel free finding your perfect guy!
The eight things above might just be a visual. I dont really care anymore these days about this 'find the right man' stuff. No matter how hard you look for him, you'll seldom get 'em. Almost never.
There must be more to it than these eight qualities, i suppose.
But i'll never know what it is.
The visual of me spending the rest of my life alone is becoming more vivid each day. I dont even think that i would get married one day. To go through shits and hurtful moments before tying the knot....neah....i dont think i need another.
Love, it happens. In anyway it would want to happen...through a first sight or through a kiss.
We'll just never know. For the time being, i'm just grateful to have him in my life.
On second thought....maybe the list should look like this for me:
1- Just don't hurt my feelings and don't fuck it up.
2- Same as the above.
3- Same as the above.
4- Same as the above.
5- Same as the above.
6- Same as the above.
7- Same as the above.
8- Same as the above.
Ha ha.
And to hana, do tag me if you have more tag game. I need to get my mind off things. Besides, it feels nice to annoy muzzo with tag-tag-taggedy-tag *lift a cuppa machiato*
Living my life pathetically happy.
__Ib
The rules:-
The tag victim has to come up with 8 different points of his/her perfect lover
- have to mention the gender of his/her perfect lover
- Tag eight other victim to join this game and leave a comment on their blog
- If you are tagged for the second time, there is NO need to do this again
Lastly, Most importantly, HAVE FUN DOING IT...
Okay so here goes the finding *ehem*
1- Physically fit, tall, healthy, beautiful eyes, great hair.(comes in one package)
2- Honest. In action, and in words. I dont fancy sweet shit. Received too much of it now it makes me sick. Talk can be cheap, action is expensive. (As quoted by muzzo)
3- Knows when to let me have my space, and be there for me when i need him.
4- Spontaneous.
5- Fun and funny. I need to be happy and have fun 24/7!
6- Loves me for who i am, cares for me by being supportive and protective.
7- Err...ermm..
8- Honestly, am not quite sure about this list. Perfect lover? What is perfect anyway? And say...if i found my perfect guy....will the guy who is physically fit, honest, knowledgeable and funny suits me?
Well, i tag anyone who feels like doing it and anyone who reads my blog. No specification here coz i ran out of names. Feel free finding your perfect guy!
The eight things above might just be a visual. I dont really care anymore these days about this 'find the right man' stuff. No matter how hard you look for him, you'll seldom get 'em. Almost never.
There must be more to it than these eight qualities, i suppose.
But i'll never know what it is.
The visual of me spending the rest of my life alone is becoming more vivid each day. I dont even think that i would get married one day. To go through shits and hurtful moments before tying the knot....neah....i dont think i need another.
Love, it happens. In anyway it would want to happen...through a first sight or through a kiss.
We'll just never know. For the time being, i'm just grateful to have him in my life.
On second thought....maybe the list should look like this for me:
1- Just don't hurt my feelings and don't fuck it up.
2- Same as the above.
3- Same as the above.
4- Same as the above.
5- Same as the above.
6- Same as the above.
7- Same as the above.
8- Same as the above.
Ha ha.
And to hana, do tag me if you have more tag game. I need to get my mind off things. Besides, it feels nice to annoy muzzo with tag-tag-taggedy-tag *lift a cuppa machiato*
Living my life pathetically happy.
__Ib
.fancy a good night sleep?.
I came across a friend's blog today where she complaints about her sleeping problem. It's disturbing her and it concerns me as well.
Coz I too, suffered the same problem few months back.
From minor disorder, this trouble could actually leads you to chronic insomnia. At the early stage of this problem, I didnt worry as much until I realized that it's causing me trouble in and out of school. At some point, I even thought that I wasn't normal and it hurts me everytime people tell it to my face that I am lazy and etc etc just because I skip classes and had trouble finishing my assignments. I'm always anxious and grumpy around people and I get defensive most of the time. Being a light-sleeper, it annoys me each time people woke me up coz I have difficulty falling asleep.
I've tried everything. Eucalyptus oil? Bacaan doa, surah, dan ayat suci? Milk? Been there done that. The one person who really cares for me used to rub some baby johnson's oil on my head, made me hot milk and did bedtime reading for me (a story of how a giant met a kinky kat) and so far, I found it did help me a lot. I can't say how much I appreciate it. It's just beyond words. I need help and the person helps me. Thank you 100millionx. :)
Now that i'm getting better, Alhamdullilah, I would love to mentioned about this sleeping disorder problem of mine in my blog for my friends and other bloggers as well to share.
There are many types of sleeping disorder, from sleep apnea, insomnia, narcolepsy and the list goes on. And for all I know, insomnia is NOT A DISORDER BUT A COMPLAINT. I suffered chronic insomnia - poor sleep that happens most nights and last a month or longer. This has caused me anxiety, impaired concentration where i became very very forgetfull ( I had trouble remembering certain names and events), impaired memory and irritability. One of the most common causes of chronic insomnia is depression. However, chronic insomnia may also be due to behavioral factors, including the misuse of caffeine, alcohol, or other substances; disrupted sleep/wake cycles as may occur with shift work or other nighttime activity schedules; and chronic stress. ( Please take not that I don't drink). In addition, I had :
• poor sleep hygiene in general
• expecting to have difficulty sleeping and worrying about it
• ingesting excessive amounts of caffeine ( i need to find at least a bottle of root beer to ease myself at night)
• excessive napping in the afternoon or evening (this is when i skip my classes)
• irregular or continually disrupted sleep/wake schedule
And hell, insomnia is effecting my quality of life!
To my dear friends who has the same trouble (I do know you suffered the same thing if I found you chatting up with me at 5 in the morning! You, yes, you!) here are some tips that might help you:
- Sleep is as important as food and air. Quantity and quality are very important. Most adults need between 7.5 to 8.5 hours of uninterrupted sleep. If you press the snooze button on the alarm in the morning you are not getting enough sleep. This could be due to not enough time in bed, external disturbances, or a sleep disorder.
- Keep regular hours. Try to go to bed at the same time and get up at the same time every day. Getting up at the same time is most important. Getting bright light, like the sun, when you get up will also help. Try to go to bed only when you are sleepy. Bright light in the morning at a regular time should help you feel sleepy at the same time every night.
- Stay away from stimulants like caffeine. This will help you get deep sleep which is most refreshing. If you take any caffeine, take it in the morning. Avoid all stimulants in the evening, including chocolate, caffeinated sodas, and caffeinated teas. They will delay sleep and increase arousals during the night.
- Use the bed for sleeping. Avoid watching TV or using laptop computers. Know that reading in bed can be a problem if the material is very stimulation and you read with a bright light. If it helps to read before sleep make sure you use a very small wattage bulb to read. A 15 watt bulb should be enough. Bright light from these activities may inhibit sleep.
- Avoid bright light around the house before bed. Using dimmer switches in living rooms and bathrooms before bed can be helpful. (Dimmer switches can be set to maximum brightness for morning routines.)
- Don't stress if you feel you are not getting enough sleep. It will just make matters worse. Know you will sleep eventually.
- Avoid exercise near bedtime. No exercise at least 3 hours before bed.
- Don't go to bed hungry. Have a light snack, avoid a heavy meal before bed.
- Bedtime routines are helpful for good sleep. Keep routines on your normal schedule. A cup of herbal tea an hour before bed can begin a routine.
- Avoid looking at the clock if you wake up in the middle of the night. It can cause anxiety. This is very difficult for most of us, so turn the clock away from your eyes so you would have to turn it to see the time. You may decide not to make the effort and go right back to sleep.
- If you can't get to sleep for over 30 minutes, get out of bed and do something boring in dim light till you are sleepy.
- Keep your bedroom at comfortable temperature. Not too warm and not too cold. Cooler is better than warmer.
- If you have problems with noise in your environment you can use a white noise generator. A old fan will work or you can buy noise machies from many sources.
- Know that the "night cap" has a price. Alcohol may help you to get to sleep but it will cause you to wake up throughout the night. You may not notice it. (It is worse if you have sleep apnea because the alcohol makes the apnea worse.) Sometimes people snore only if they have had some alcohol or may snore worse if they already snore.)
- If you have a sleeping partner, ask them if they notice any snoring, leg movements and/or pauses in breathing . You may have a sleep disorder or you may just need to increase your awareness about your own sleep need.
And the one I bold out, is 'ME'.
Some people who suffered the same trouble may find it hard to admit it but hey, if you keep living in denial, it wont cured and nobody can help you out. I used to hang out with people who has the same trouble, we hang out in the wee hours of the morning and they respect it if I said 'I want to sleep' but honestly, it only makes things worse for me coz i didnt find the cure and I couldn't sleep.
I hope this could help you, abby (and yes you, i dont want to mention your name but i do care, okay!) coz I am very much concern about this matter.
Now, it's great to be able to wake up early in the morning :)
Living my life pathetically happy.
__Ib
Coz I too, suffered the same problem few months back.
From minor disorder, this trouble could actually leads you to chronic insomnia. At the early stage of this problem, I didnt worry as much until I realized that it's causing me trouble in and out of school. At some point, I even thought that I wasn't normal and it hurts me everytime people tell it to my face that I am lazy and etc etc just because I skip classes and had trouble finishing my assignments. I'm always anxious and grumpy around people and I get defensive most of the time. Being a light-sleeper, it annoys me each time people woke me up coz I have difficulty falling asleep.
I've tried everything. Eucalyptus oil? Bacaan doa, surah, dan ayat suci? Milk? Been there done that. The one person who really cares for me used to rub some baby johnson's oil on my head, made me hot milk and did bedtime reading for me (a story of how a giant met a kinky kat) and so far, I found it did help me a lot. I can't say how much I appreciate it. It's just beyond words. I need help and the person helps me. Thank you 100millionx. :)
Now that i'm getting better, Alhamdullilah, I would love to mentioned about this sleeping disorder problem of mine in my blog for my friends and other bloggers as well to share.
There are many types of sleeping disorder, from sleep apnea, insomnia, narcolepsy and the list goes on. And for all I know, insomnia is NOT A DISORDER BUT A COMPLAINT. I suffered chronic insomnia - poor sleep that happens most nights and last a month or longer. This has caused me anxiety, impaired concentration where i became very very forgetfull ( I had trouble remembering certain names and events), impaired memory and irritability. One of the most common causes of chronic insomnia is depression. However, chronic insomnia may also be due to behavioral factors, including the misuse of caffeine, alcohol, or other substances; disrupted sleep/wake cycles as may occur with shift work or other nighttime activity schedules; and chronic stress. ( Please take not that I don't drink). In addition, I had :
• poor sleep hygiene in general
• expecting to have difficulty sleeping and worrying about it
• ingesting excessive amounts of caffeine ( i need to find at least a bottle of root beer to ease myself at night)
• excessive napping in the afternoon or evening (this is when i skip my classes)
• irregular or continually disrupted sleep/wake schedule
And hell, insomnia is effecting my quality of life!
To my dear friends who has the same trouble (I do know you suffered the same thing if I found you chatting up with me at 5 in the morning! You, yes, you!) here are some tips that might help you:
- Sleep is as important as food and air. Quantity and quality are very important. Most adults need between 7.5 to 8.5 hours of uninterrupted sleep. If you press the snooze button on the alarm in the morning you are not getting enough sleep. This could be due to not enough time in bed, external disturbances, or a sleep disorder.
- Keep regular hours. Try to go to bed at the same time and get up at the same time every day. Getting up at the same time is most important. Getting bright light, like the sun, when you get up will also help. Try to go to bed only when you are sleepy. Bright light in the morning at a regular time should help you feel sleepy at the same time every night.
- Stay away from stimulants like caffeine. This will help you get deep sleep which is most refreshing. If you take any caffeine, take it in the morning. Avoid all stimulants in the evening, including chocolate, caffeinated sodas, and caffeinated teas. They will delay sleep and increase arousals during the night.
- Use the bed for sleeping. Avoid watching TV or using laptop computers. Know that reading in bed can be a problem if the material is very stimulation and you read with a bright light. If it helps to read before sleep make sure you use a very small wattage bulb to read. A 15 watt bulb should be enough. Bright light from these activities may inhibit sleep.
- Avoid bright light around the house before bed. Using dimmer switches in living rooms and bathrooms before bed can be helpful. (Dimmer switches can be set to maximum brightness for morning routines.)
- Don't stress if you feel you are not getting enough sleep. It will just make matters worse. Know you will sleep eventually.
- Avoid exercise near bedtime. No exercise at least 3 hours before bed.
- Don't go to bed hungry. Have a light snack, avoid a heavy meal before bed.
- Bedtime routines are helpful for good sleep. Keep routines on your normal schedule. A cup of herbal tea an hour before bed can begin a routine.
- Avoid looking at the clock if you wake up in the middle of the night. It can cause anxiety. This is very difficult for most of us, so turn the clock away from your eyes so you would have to turn it to see the time. You may decide not to make the effort and go right back to sleep.
- If you can't get to sleep for over 30 minutes, get out of bed and do something boring in dim light till you are sleepy.
- Keep your bedroom at comfortable temperature. Not too warm and not too cold. Cooler is better than warmer.
- If you have problems with noise in your environment you can use a white noise generator. A old fan will work or you can buy noise machies from many sources.
- Know that the "night cap" has a price. Alcohol may help you to get to sleep but it will cause you to wake up throughout the night. You may not notice it. (It is worse if you have sleep apnea because the alcohol makes the apnea worse.) Sometimes people snore only if they have had some alcohol or may snore worse if they already snore.)
- If you have a sleeping partner, ask them if they notice any snoring, leg movements and/or pauses in breathing . You may have a sleep disorder or you may just need to increase your awareness about your own sleep need.
And the one I bold out, is 'ME'.
Some people who suffered the same trouble may find it hard to admit it but hey, if you keep living in denial, it wont cured and nobody can help you out. I used to hang out with people who has the same trouble, we hang out in the wee hours of the morning and they respect it if I said 'I want to sleep' but honestly, it only makes things worse for me coz i didnt find the cure and I couldn't sleep.
I hope this could help you, abby (and yes you, i dont want to mention your name but i do care, okay!) coz I am very much concern about this matter.
Now, it's great to be able to wake up early in the morning :)
Living my life pathetically happy.
__Ib
.girlfriends.
miss kl.
the feeling i got yesterday's morning when i had a walk around some part of kl hasn't changed from the time when i was eighteen. the adrenalin rush, the total freedom to go anywhere and do anything.
i felt young again.
Bumped into my dearest best friend back in my old college, Siew Ming. We screamed and hugged. The amoi was on her way to work and we then promised to go out for dinner, together with another best friend of ours, Lee Teng. The 'date' was set to 8pm so to kill my time, I went for a movie in KLCC. Picked the silliest movie and bought a caramel popcorn. There weren't many people and I got the middle row for myself. No one to kick the back of my seat, talk on the phone or analyze the movie. Ah, this is great, I thought. Should do this more often.
Headed to Kino and read a great book 'Who moved my cheese?' by Spencer Johnson.
My life changed a lot these past few months and often I found myself crying just because I'm so scared to face the truth that 'somebody moved my cheese' and I wasn't prepared for it at all. Instead of letting go and move on, I'm stuck in time, barely move and that fear of this and that hold me back from reaching to the life outside my comfort zone.
I need to snap out of this total paranoia thing.
Dinner at Secret Recipe with my girlfriends was great! Had to thank Lee Teng for treating me to a delicious pasta and brownies. The talk went on and on and on, design, art, work, blog, football but mostly we reminisced back the old memories we had back in MTDC. The guy friends we love: A'an, Anas, Chef, Abg Sham, Jimmy (ha ha), Syed, Mong Heung, Shafik, Hafiz...yeah we kinda missed them a lot. And we missed our seniors as well: Zaidy, Along, Syak, Ah Tuck..we were like a big family, taking care of each other and lived our life like nobody cares.
The three of us used to laugh and cry together. Sang Faye Wong's song and gossiping. Each time we went out for shopping, I often being asked about my race. It's odd to some people, I think, to have Chinese best friends but I love the friendship more than anything. I don't feel weird to have a sleep over at Siew Ming's house (her mom treated me like her own daughter), played lantern, eat Garfield moon cake and herbal eggs or have to listen to their fight in Cantonese. I went to their house during Chinese New Year to enjoy the chocs, ang pows and 'limau mandarin' and the girls love Hari Raya's cookies. To me, what I love about being friends with the girls is that they respect me and love me for me. Not as a Malay or whatsoever but as Ibah they knew. They respect my prayer time and always bring me to the halal chinese restaurant. They even fast when Ramadhan comes. Break-fasting together with them were often something we always looked forward to.
And after all these stupid shit I've received from my so-called friends in you-know-where, I think I'm loving the girls more and more. We never have fight simply because there's nothing to fight about. No 'you bitch behind my back', no rumours, no stupid gossip, no 'you back stab me', no 'i hate your bf', no whatsoever.
Well, growth comes with resistance ey?
.Lee Teng and Siew Ming.
.love my geraldine.
.love my fatimah also aa.
Siew Ming and Lee Teng....love you girls a lot! And I mean a lot! *hugs and kisses*
-----
I don't understand why must some Malays judge other Malays as typical. And typical malays judge the other type of malays as 'tak sedar diri' / wannabe etc. What is typical anyway? I come across this matter lotsa time but dont quite geddit. Is wearing a baju kurung considered typical? Is eating western food considered wannabe? Some even forgot that no matter what they do, wear, believe in, they are *tadaaaa* still a malay. Talking about living in stupid denial. Gosh. Maybe there are different types of Malay? Normal malay, typical malay, modern malay, western malay, italian malay, japanese malay, chinese malay. It might takes at least five different types of malay to make up a whole new meaning of the race in kamus dewan bahasa dan pustaka. Can't they just blardy accept who they are? Ashamed of being in your own skin, is it? Always know your root, baby...we never know what Allah might surprise us with. Kot la satu hari kau tergolek jatuh kat tengah jalan.....dan orang-orang melayu yang kau kata tipikal atau orang-orang melayu yang kau panggil 'melayu tak sedar diri' ni lah yang tolong kau...masa tu label-label tu semua dah tak boleh pakai.
I used to be 'melayu tak sedar diri' when i was in high school, 'modern malay' when in college, 'normal malay' when i worked in Muar and 'typical malay' now in Limkokwing.
Hurm, oh well. Mungkin yang membezakan melayu-melayu kat dunia ni...
Sembahyang lima waktu?
Living my life pathetically happy.
__Ib
the feeling i got yesterday's morning when i had a walk around some part of kl hasn't changed from the time when i was eighteen. the adrenalin rush, the total freedom to go anywhere and do anything.
i felt young again.
Bumped into my dearest best friend back in my old college, Siew Ming. We screamed and hugged. The amoi was on her way to work and we then promised to go out for dinner, together with another best friend of ours, Lee Teng. The 'date' was set to 8pm so to kill my time, I went for a movie in KLCC. Picked the silliest movie and bought a caramel popcorn. There weren't many people and I got the middle row for myself. No one to kick the back of my seat, talk on the phone or analyze the movie. Ah, this is great, I thought. Should do this more often.
Headed to Kino and read a great book 'Who moved my cheese?' by Spencer Johnson.
My life changed a lot these past few months and often I found myself crying just because I'm so scared to face the truth that 'somebody moved my cheese' and I wasn't prepared for it at all. Instead of letting go and move on, I'm stuck in time, barely move and that fear of this and that hold me back from reaching to the life outside my comfort zone.
I need to snap out of this total paranoia thing.
Dinner at Secret Recipe with my girlfriends was great! Had to thank Lee Teng for treating me to a delicious pasta and brownies. The talk went on and on and on, design, art, work, blog, football but mostly we reminisced back the old memories we had back in MTDC. The guy friends we love: A'an, Anas, Chef, Abg Sham, Jimmy (ha ha), Syed, Mong Heung, Shafik, Hafiz...yeah we kinda missed them a lot. And we missed our seniors as well: Zaidy, Along, Syak, Ah Tuck..we were like a big family, taking care of each other and lived our life like nobody cares.
The three of us used to laugh and cry together. Sang Faye Wong's song and gossiping. Each time we went out for shopping, I often being asked about my race. It's odd to some people, I think, to have Chinese best friends but I love the friendship more than anything. I don't feel weird to have a sleep over at Siew Ming's house (her mom treated me like her own daughter), played lantern, eat Garfield moon cake and herbal eggs or have to listen to their fight in Cantonese. I went to their house during Chinese New Year to enjoy the chocs, ang pows and 'limau mandarin' and the girls love Hari Raya's cookies. To me, what I love about being friends with the girls is that they respect me and love me for me. Not as a Malay or whatsoever but as Ibah they knew. They respect my prayer time and always bring me to the halal chinese restaurant. They even fast when Ramadhan comes. Break-fasting together with them were often something we always looked forward to.
And after all these stupid shit I've received from my so-called friends in you-know-where, I think I'm loving the girls more and more. We never have fight simply because there's nothing to fight about. No 'you bitch behind my back', no rumours, no stupid gossip, no 'you back stab me', no 'i hate your bf', no whatsoever.
Well, growth comes with resistance ey?
.Lee Teng and Siew Ming.
.love my geraldine.
.love my fatimah also aa.
Siew Ming and Lee Teng....love you girls a lot! And I mean a lot! *hugs and kisses*
-----
I don't understand why must some Malays judge other Malays as typical. And typical malays judge the other type of malays as 'tak sedar diri' / wannabe etc. What is typical anyway? I come across this matter lotsa time but dont quite geddit. Is wearing a baju kurung considered typical? Is eating western food considered wannabe? Some even forgot that no matter what they do, wear, believe in, they are *tadaaaa* still a malay. Talking about living in stupid denial. Gosh. Maybe there are different types of Malay? Normal malay, typical malay, modern malay, western malay, italian malay, japanese malay, chinese malay. It might takes at least five different types of malay to make up a whole new meaning of the race in kamus dewan bahasa dan pustaka. Can't they just blardy accept who they are? Ashamed of being in your own skin, is it? Always know your root, baby...we never know what Allah might surprise us with. Kot la satu hari kau tergolek jatuh kat tengah jalan.....dan orang-orang melayu yang kau kata tipikal atau orang-orang melayu yang kau panggil 'melayu tak sedar diri' ni lah yang tolong kau...masa tu label-label tu semua dah tak boleh pakai.
I used to be 'melayu tak sedar diri' when i was in high school, 'modern malay' when in college, 'normal malay' when i worked in Muar and 'typical malay' now in Limkokwing.
Hurm, oh well. Mungkin yang membezakan melayu-melayu kat dunia ni...
Sembahyang lima waktu?
Living my life pathetically happy.
__Ib
.farewell.
it's been a bad move...
...to start the day early and missed the world cup together with my footie partner.hurhur. spent the day going round and round, trying to find our way to the sg wang's car park. muzzo made a u-turn in...ampang! dua orang yang buta arah dan benci KL! :D but it's a great car ride experience.
went to some galleries and exhibition, hanging out at the mamak before off to a movie. it was my lucky day as everything went smoothly, from finding our way, finding a parking space to getting a good seat in the cinema. at a time when everything went wrong, i found a right way of taking my mind of things.
by the time we reached cj we were already tired and worned out. muzzy's car made me sooooo sleepy. wish own bedroom has his car's air condition. both of us decided to end the world cup experience with our usual way of sharing it: screaming on the phone. but this time...we didn't scream...we wept.
Italian won the World Cup after a dramatic final. An enthralling final finished 1-1 was overshadowed by a moment of madness from France captain Zinedine Zidane. Couldn't help but to say France deserves the credit. But this is football we are talking about...anything can happen. Like life itself, football is full of surprises.
Italy are world champion :)
Living my life pathetically happy.
__Ib
...to start the day early and missed the world cup together with my footie partner.hurhur. spent the day going round and round, trying to find our way to the sg wang's car park. muzzo made a u-turn in...ampang! dua orang yang buta arah dan benci KL! :D but it's a great car ride experience.
went to some galleries and exhibition, hanging out at the mamak before off to a movie. it was my lucky day as everything went smoothly, from finding our way, finding a parking space to getting a good seat in the cinema. at a time when everything went wrong, i found a right way of taking my mind of things.
by the time we reached cj we were already tired and worned out. muzzy's car made me sooooo sleepy. wish own bedroom has his car's air condition. both of us decided to end the world cup experience with our usual way of sharing it: screaming on the phone. but this time...we didn't scream...we wept.
Italian won the World Cup after a dramatic final. An enthralling final finished 1-1 was overshadowed by a moment of madness from France captain Zinedine Zidane. Couldn't help but to say France deserves the credit. But this is football we are talking about...anything can happen. Like life itself, football is full of surprises.
Italy are world champion :)
Living my life pathetically happy.
__Ib
.a tutta forza italia!.
italy won!!! *roar*
ah...what more can i say? sforzo notevole il italia!
was screaming on top of my lung when grosso scored! was intense! words cant describe my feeling right now! its just awesome! mirabile! to beat the germany, now all the big team are out! brasil! germany! england!
can't wait for the final!
in bocca al lupo, forza azzuri!!
Living my life pathetically happy.
__Ib
ah...what more can i say? sforzo notevole il italia!
was screaming on top of my lung when grosso scored! was intense! words cant describe my feeling right now! its just awesome! mirabile! to beat the germany, now all the big team are out! brasil! germany! england!
can't wait for the final!
in bocca al lupo, forza azzuri!!
Living my life pathetically happy.
__Ib
.and so it is.
“Have you had the feeling that you’re afraid to get too close to something?”
“Afraid that once you get used to it, it becomes like your breath, you can’t live without it.”
said yours truly.
.being me sometimes hurts.
“Often.” replied me.
.ib's happy-pink-wall.
"Often that i'm freaking myself out right now."
Living my life pathetically happy.
__Ib
“Afraid that once you get used to it, it becomes like your breath, you can’t live without it.”
said yours truly.
.being me sometimes hurts.
“Often.” replied me.
.ib's happy-pink-wall.
"Often that i'm freaking myself out right now."
Living my life pathetically happy.
__Ib
.finally!.
finally, i landed a job. Alhamdullilah.
Muhkriz called early in the morning to inform me the good news. I'll be shooting for a cancer awareness exhibition at the end of the month. Yay!
Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay!
Ib will be snapping some photos! ^(^0^)^
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ah, i feel like continuing this entry. I was back in Cyberia yesterday only to find that it was a big mistake to think a stay over is a good idea since all my friends here were all caught up in their own business. So I decided to head down to Mines to watch Fast and Furious - Tokyo Drift alone. A great pop corn movie, even great when you watch it all by yourself where you could self-absorb. Ha ha. I had fun watching Lucas Black wearing the Japanase school uniform and drive the sexy red Mitsubishi Lancer Evo IX. Made me feel like driving one. Love the rap and rock drift songs too, sounds like brash Beastie Boys-from-the-land-of-the-rising-sun shtick.
Maybe i'll go watch it again, just to see the cars roar.
If You Ain't Outta Control, You Ain't In Control.
Living my life pathetically happy.
__Ib
Muhkriz called early in the morning to inform me the good news. I'll be shooting for a cancer awareness exhibition at the end of the month. Yay!
Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay!
Ib will be snapping some photos! ^(^0^)^
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ah, i feel like continuing this entry. I was back in Cyberia yesterday only to find that it was a big mistake to think a stay over is a good idea since all my friends here were all caught up in their own business. So I decided to head down to Mines to watch Fast and Furious - Tokyo Drift alone. A great pop corn movie, even great when you watch it all by yourself where you could self-absorb. Ha ha. I had fun watching Lucas Black wearing the Japanase school uniform and drive the sexy red Mitsubishi Lancer Evo IX. Made me feel like driving one. Love the rap and rock drift songs too, sounds like brash Beastie Boys-from-the-land-of-the-rising-sun shtick.
Maybe i'll go watch it again, just to see the cars roar.
If You Ain't Outta Control, You Ain't In Control.
Living my life pathetically happy.
__Ib
.nothing is ever enough.
Now, I don't want to lose you
but I don't want to use you
just to have somebody by my side.
And I don't want to hate you,I don't want to take you
but I don't want to be the one to cry.
And that don't really matter to anyone anymore.
But like a fool I keep losing my place
and I keep seeing you walk through that door.
But there's a danger in loving somebody too much,
and it's sad when you know it's your heart you can't trust.
There's a reason why people don't stay where they are.
Baby, sometimes, love just aint enough.
Now, I could never change you
I don't want to blame you.
Baby, you don't have to take the fall.
Yes, I may have hurt you, but I did not desert you.
Maybe I just want to have it all.
It makes a sound like thunder
it makes me feel like rain.
And like a fool who will never see the truth,
I keep thinking something's gonna change.
And there's no way home
when it's late at night and you're all alone.
Are there things that you wanted to say?
And do you feel me beside you in your bed,
there beside you,
where I used to lay?
Baby, sometimes, love... it just ain't enough.
Patti smith- love just ain’t enough
So, tell me…do we ever feel enough? Of everything we have in life? Food, sex, work or even love.
Being human, I can’t escape from feeling greedy, to have everything in life, the finest I could get. And to have what I want in life, I have to work my arse off making sure I get everything that I wish for, good movies, fine clothes, books. At the age of 24, I realized that if I work hard enough, I could get it all. Even love. Yes. Well, not that I have to work hard to get love but sometimes when you are blinded by it, you seems to go to certain extend of level just to make sure he loves u more and more. I have never been taught by my parents to ask for anything except for great knowledge and everlasting love from them. I can’t imagine myself saying ‘I wish that my friends/family/boyfriend/whoever whoever could buy me this and that’. (If I could, I would have my jeep ready to roar by now). Let alone to beg for sympathy like ‘but mommy, I want that doll! If I don’t get it I’ll be…sad’ kind of begging. Sometimes, it feels sinful to even ask my mom some amount of money to print my assignments. But Alhamdullilah, so far, He never set up a horrible blockade of my rezeki.
Right now, I think time is not giving me enough portions for me to hang out with my dearest friends in Muar. And that I think I have not received enough attention to a point I feel like I’m being ignored by all. And that I don’t have enough flair words to spill onto my blog or lack of fresh ideas to amuse my fellow blogger readers.
And Smith sings…love just ain’t enough. Pity love when it is overshadowed by everything else and just cannot make a breakthrough as an entity of its own.
Well, sometimes…nothing is ever enough.
Honestly, do we give Allah enough, in return, for all the blessings He gave us?
Living my life pathetically happy.
__Ib
but I don't want to use you
just to have somebody by my side.
And I don't want to hate you,I don't want to take you
but I don't want to be the one to cry.
And that don't really matter to anyone anymore.
But like a fool I keep losing my place
and I keep seeing you walk through that door.
But there's a danger in loving somebody too much,
and it's sad when you know it's your heart you can't trust.
There's a reason why people don't stay where they are.
Baby, sometimes, love just aint enough.
Now, I could never change you
I don't want to blame you.
Baby, you don't have to take the fall.
Yes, I may have hurt you, but I did not desert you.
Maybe I just want to have it all.
It makes a sound like thunder
it makes me feel like rain.
And like a fool who will never see the truth,
I keep thinking something's gonna change.
And there's no way home
when it's late at night and you're all alone.
Are there things that you wanted to say?
And do you feel me beside you in your bed,
there beside you,
where I used to lay?
Baby, sometimes, love... it just ain't enough.
Patti smith- love just ain’t enough
So, tell me…do we ever feel enough? Of everything we have in life? Food, sex, work or even love.
Being human, I can’t escape from feeling greedy, to have everything in life, the finest I could get. And to have what I want in life, I have to work my arse off making sure I get everything that I wish for, good movies, fine clothes, books. At the age of 24, I realized that if I work hard enough, I could get it all. Even love. Yes. Well, not that I have to work hard to get love but sometimes when you are blinded by it, you seems to go to certain extend of level just to make sure he loves u more and more. I have never been taught by my parents to ask for anything except for great knowledge and everlasting love from them. I can’t imagine myself saying ‘I wish that my friends/family/boyfriend/whoever whoever could buy me this and that’. (If I could, I would have my jeep ready to roar by now). Let alone to beg for sympathy like ‘but mommy, I want that doll! If I don’t get it I’ll be…sad’ kind of begging. Sometimes, it feels sinful to even ask my mom some amount of money to print my assignments. But Alhamdullilah, so far, He never set up a horrible blockade of my rezeki.
Right now, I think time is not giving me enough portions for me to hang out with my dearest friends in Muar. And that I think I have not received enough attention to a point I feel like I’m being ignored by all. And that I don’t have enough flair words to spill onto my blog or lack of fresh ideas to amuse my fellow blogger readers.
And Smith sings…love just ain’t enough. Pity love when it is overshadowed by everything else and just cannot make a breakthrough as an entity of its own.
Well, sometimes…nothing is ever enough.
Honestly, do we give Allah enough, in return, for all the blessings He gave us?
Living my life pathetically happy.
__Ib
.dearest friend.
I know blogging shouldn't be forceful but I’m quite agitated to blog now despite my terrible mood.
It’s tiring, having to drive through massive jam and with six kids screaming and crying in the car. The usual two hours drive to muar seems longer.
My days were kinda hectic. Juggling between work and family, but still I found some quiet time to watch footie in the morning and go to the cyber cafes to blog and chat. If I don’t talk to anyone I might go mad!
I hang out with my dear dear Muzzo last thursday. My footie-partner, my chill pill, my no 1 fan Muzzafar heheh. 5 hours and a half of chit-chatting and laughter was fun. If he had not stopped me from talking, we would have sit there up to morning. From footie to KLites being the third rudest society in the world to 9/11 fake attack to Tori Amos, I made him hang on tight to his chair up to 11pm! Bwahaha. A great company who really made my day. Thanks Muzz, I was in need of a talk and some jokes when you called. Hope the Hersheys made u feel better. And yeah… you look cute with the semi-clean cut style! (Ah, man…this is hard…trying to ‘make this a good one’ hehe.)
Ah wth…am gonna say this and am gonna say this once muzzo: You are my most dearest friend who understands me, chill me with your ‘hang on to your horsey, ib’ when I’m hot, warm me up with your stupid jokes when I’m cold, give me a song that made my days, spend ringgits of sms on me when I need you, scream with me when Italy scored the penalty kick, feed my empty brain with infos, ask me how my day is when I feel like I cant make it with this paranoia things tailing me, and yeah…you are a friend I will always treasure. Like you once said; 'its like having your very first best friend back when you are six yrs old'. Yeah, it is like that.
And I hope you get your room by now so that you won’t hang yourself like what you’ve plan coz dude I still need the l-arc-en-ciel’s Ark album! Harhar. Kidding! Seriously, i dont know what i would do without you around *wink* might suicide in total paranoia?? Hurhur.
Have a great semester ahead, Muzzy! *hugs* Love you lots!!
Living my life pathetically happy.
__Ib
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