weird things happen on sunday.

they really do.

or maybe it just happen to only me?

1- i opened up the fridge's door and it stupidly hit my head.
2- went to the mall. i forgot where i parked my car. spent half an hour wondering what to do next.
3- upon deciding on my next action, i went into a nearby boutique to calm myself up and again, the door hit my head when it swung open. seriously, man.
4-did not entirely found my car (or even remember) but two of my friends came to rescue. we headed to delicious where i stupidly decided to eat lotsa creamy stuff. bad move. had nausea attack.
5- sent han to the lrt station. was lost right after my friend and i dropped her off. cant find our way back to bangsar. stupid innit?
6- two times that my friend and i was frikkin' sure that it was the right exit, we met with a dead end. had trouble doing u-turning and shit.
6- picked up elyna (was a few hours late, however) and went to starbucks.
7- again, bad move. starbucks full of crappy people. twas damn noisy outside. there were a few students who were doing their broadcasting assignment and talked in their highst possible pitch voice. (im still annoyed so i just dont give a damn about my spelling or grammar anymore).
8-but when we moved inside, was bugged by another annoying fella. moved outside again. same thing. what lar.
9- a toyota alphard parked in front of starbucks had caused trouble to everyone. weirdly though, all four doors were open but there was no one inside. i cant frikkin' believe there's such an idiot in the world! so rich have to leave your car unattended like that meh? crazy.

oh well.

im just glad that i had the nicest time lazying around at home yesterday. watched footie with my mom.

mommy: 'which team is liverpool again? the one in red or the one in white?'

i want a fresh start tomorrow!

train of thoughts.

I got a tad emo while driving home from work yesterday. Everything that had happened of late came on swirling making me dizzy as hell. I had to pull up by the roadside and rolled down the window, gasping for fresh air. I nearly puked.

Oh dear.

Did I just had panic attack?

Crazy.

My hormones were misbehaving so very badly. I had to spend the next fourty-five minutes trying to get rid of the drowsiness. Apparently, there’s this tiny little troubled thoughts that bugs the crap out of me.

Now that explains the attack.

But lets not go down the core.

Right now, I need some hope, faith, belief…anything that I could rely myself on. Each morning I wake up telling myself to do at least one good thing for people and to always count my blessings. Each day after work, I force my brain to come up with ideas to get away from the loneliness that haunts. Life has been like a quicksand sinking me down fast.

Things are speeding off at the moment, too. So swift that it shudders me whenever I think of it. I had been feeling everything; from extremely happy, ridiculously excited, disgustingly sappy to horribly upset that my feeling has significantly gone down to sense almost nothing at this point. Wait, I think I’ve used the same term a few months back.

But you see, fact and fiction always work as a team, fooling you around. Fact is only something you would like to believe but its almost always fiction in the end, sometimes.

Or maybe, it’s the other way around? I know less about this.

Think, I could do with a little bit of selfishness and deviation for the time being.

a yes to V day.

I was never big on Valentine’s. It just so happens that everytime V day rolls around, I wasn’t dating anyone in particular or liked anyone enough to answer a yes to a V date.

Its just another day for lovey-dovey red and pink heart shaped balloons and roses to be commercialized vastly. If not for a friend who reminded me ‘eh, not celebrating ah?’ , I would completely forget about it. Suppose its because I am single?

But being single is cool. I cant think of any more reasons why, probably because its more of a state of being. I totally love having the freedom to do whatever I want to do, go wherever I want to go without having to answer to anyone. Relationship is so much of a hard work, can be suffocating at times.

Having to say that, I tried to make up a list inside my head yesterday. The perks of living on planet single:

I look after myself. I stand up for myself. – 100 cokie points.
I hang out with my best-friends after work instead of sulking at home with my teddie. - 50 cokie points
I do road trip on weekends. - 100 cokie points
I pose up/take photos on certain Sundays – 100 cokie points
I ngopi with my ngopi friends on certain nights till early a.m. – 100 cokie points
I eat sushi without guilty -50 cokie points
I hunt for dresses without having to worry if anyone likes it or not -50 cokie points
I have the license to super flirt with any guy I like -200 cokie points

Yay!

So, despite the fact that I can be totally clueless over V day, I had one of the nicest V time last night. I worked! A friend invited me over to help him with a Valentine’s dinner photo shoot down at his workplace. It’s a pretty interesting offer so off I went tailing him to RSGC in my black working suits. Oh, I totally love the decoration they made for the event! Simple but very sweet! We kicked start at about 7ish and finished up around midnight. Tiring but its totally fun as well. Elderly couples dancing the night away, cuddling and laughing with their friends, classically sweet. I had to suffer 5 hours weighing a heavy d80 with battery pack, flash and 80-200 AFD lense on my hand and shoulder but its all cool as I get to learn new tips and tricks. At least now I know I need bigger muscles to go on the golf course to shoot!

I’m gonna do a roadtrip to Ipoh soon. So please do check out my flickr for travel photo updates :D

doodle-ee-dee-daa

It had been a hectic, confusing week! Work, traveling, family…I have been busier than ever. My logical mind was working hard to focus on work but my heart prickled sappiness whenever I think of him. Nonetheless, I had a great time traveling to Kuala Kubu Bharu and Fraser Hill with a couple of friends and spending my holiday bumming around at home with my family. Keeping it all low, it was great to know that I don’t need to be in the crowd to make me feel special. I felt safe being surrounded by familiar faces.

I realized that answers are not easy to come by for me sometimes, so I decided to leave certain matters hushed without a reply. I can't see the point of explaining myself. I shall leave things as it is; unexpected. Life is full of surprises anyway. 

And anyhow, last night was great. I was at my best shape after not having the ability to exert more than the bare minimum effort required for any given task. (re: I had fever). Promised my dear best friend to have a quiet dinner at our usual place. Upon waiting, received a surprise phone call from a dear friend whom I haven’t heard in a while. We spoke of traveling and Kuta beach, its good to know that he’s doing wonderful at his end. We were never close I remember, but one thing that strikes me back to nostalgia: he adores my drawing.

I kept thinking about him after he hung up. Not in a romantic way though, just that somehow he evoke my feeling back to my ‘childhood days’. My best friend called up to say that she’s gonna be late for another hour so I decided to head down to an old bookstore nearby. Bought a pen and a sketch book, I sat down at the dinner table doodling up happily. It was so therapeutic! I felt like a kid sinking down in my chair with sketchbook bigger than my face and my palm covered with ink! Felt an extra bit of pride looking at ‘em doodles.

I’m listening to jack Johnson again now, thinking of my dear friend Faiz (who’s a big fan of mr jack himself!), the beaches, my doodles and reminisce my days in college. Faiz, happy birthday dear (my fourth time?), here’s a toast for you, a happy hello to your wife and lots of kisses for your son! Thank you, you remind me of my drawing days again. Cheers!

forget me.

please forget me.

a new found friend.

Just got myself a new bag pack! Yay!

I totally love the practicality as well as the overall look of my newfound possession. It’s so me. I was with my best friend browsing around yesterday, looking for a case to put Jody, my friend’s yashica electro 35. Twas hard to find a perfect case for her; I imagine Jody as a hippie friend. That is until I found the black polka dottie bag seating quietly underneath other bags. I picked it up and decided to buy it almost immediately. It’s a good buy, really, for just RM70. It looks very tough behind those laidback look it threw at me. Practical with lots of compartments to stuff things into; load into it is my 17” notebook. My wires, cameras and other little gadgets found themselves more space too. Even Jody has its own little space in front. It sits comfortably on my shoulder, quite light to carry around, comes with a waist-belt and padded that my back wont hurt. There are see-through pockets at the side, and a few secret pockets inside (I can hide trash and nobody knows) which is nice. Cookie point for that! The final surprise is the removable pouches and how I love playing around with it! Tanggal, pasang balik, tanggal. Cool giler. This is no Crumpler but I believe its gonna stay with me for a long time.

It feels like having a new companion. I can’t take my mind of it. I’m gonna drag it through sand and mud, allow the cat to sniff it a bit, and just let it fully loaded. Whartder yer men lets nart purt it too close to the erdge? My barg is gonna survive it even to the barthem of the reever!

I’m currently listening to Jack Johnson’s latest album ‘sleep through the static’. I am still in love with his old tunes, though. ‘Hope’ is my favorite track so far. I like the ‘woo, woo, woo, woos’ still.