.girlfriends.

miss kl.

the feeling i got yesterday's morning when i had a walk around some part of kl hasn't changed from the time when i was eighteen. the adrenalin rush, the total freedom to go anywhere and do anything.

i felt young again.

Bumped into my dearest best friend back in my old college, Siew Ming. We screamed and hugged. The amoi was on her way to work and we then promised to go out for dinner, together with another best friend of ours, Lee Teng. The 'date' was set to 8pm so to kill my time, I went for a movie in KLCC. Picked the silliest movie and bought a caramel popcorn. There weren't many people and I got the middle row for myself. No one to kick the back of my seat, talk on the phone or analyze the movie. Ah, this is great, I thought. Should do this more often.

Headed to Kino and read a great book 'Who moved my cheese?' by Spencer Johnson.

My life changed a lot these past few months and often I found myself crying just because I'm so scared to face the truth that 'somebody moved my cheese' and I wasn't prepared for it at all. Instead of letting go and move on, I'm stuck in time, barely move and that fear of this and that hold me back from reaching to the life outside my comfort zone.

I need to snap out of this total paranoia thing.

Dinner at Secret Recipe with my girlfriends was great! Had to thank Lee Teng for treating me to a delicious pasta and brownies. The talk went on and on and on, design, art, work, blog, football but mostly we reminisced back the old memories we had back in MTDC. The guy friends we love: A'an, Anas, Chef, Abg Sham, Jimmy (ha ha), Syed, Mong Heung, Shafik, Hafiz...yeah we kinda missed them a lot. And we missed our seniors as well: Zaidy, Along, Syak, Ah Tuck..we were like a big family, taking care of each other and lived our life like nobody cares.

The three of us used to laugh and cry together. Sang Faye Wong's song and gossiping. Each time we went out for shopping, I often being asked about my race. It's odd to some people, I think, to have Chinese best friends but I love the friendship more than anything. I don't feel weird to have a sleep over at Siew Ming's house (her mom treated me like her own daughter), played lantern, eat Garfield moon cake and herbal eggs or have to listen to their fight in Cantonese. I went to their house during Chinese New Year to enjoy the chocs, ang pows and 'limau mandarin' and the girls love Hari Raya's cookies. To me, what I love about being friends with the girls is that they respect me and love me for me. Not as a Malay or whatsoever but as Ibah they knew. They respect my prayer time and always bring me to the halal chinese restaurant. They even fast when Ramadhan comes. Break-fasting together with them were often something we always looked forward to.

And after all these stupid shit I've received from my so-called friends in you-know-where, I think I'm loving the girls more and more. We never have fight simply because there's nothing to fight about. No 'you bitch behind my back', no rumours, no stupid gossip, no 'you back stab me', no 'i hate your bf', no whatsoever.

Well, growth comes with resistance ey?


.Lee Teng and Siew Ming.


.love my geraldine.


.love my fatimah also aa.

Siew Ming and Lee Teng....love you girls a lot! And I mean a lot! *hugs and kisses*

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I don't understand why must some Malays judge other Malays as typical. And typical malays judge the other type of malays as 'tak sedar diri' / wannabe etc. What is typical anyway? I come across this matter lotsa time but dont quite geddit. Is wearing a baju kurung considered typical? Is eating western food considered wannabe? Some even forgot that no matter what they do, wear, believe in, they are *tadaaaa* still a malay. Talking about living in stupid denial. Gosh. Maybe there are different types of Malay? Normal malay, typical malay, modern malay, western malay, italian malay, japanese malay, chinese malay. It might takes at least five different types of malay to make up a whole new meaning of the race in kamus dewan bahasa dan pustaka. Can't they just blardy accept who they are? Ashamed of being in your own skin, is it? Always know your root, baby...we never know what Allah might surprise us with. Kot la satu hari kau tergolek jatuh kat tengah jalan.....dan orang-orang melayu yang kau kata tipikal atau orang-orang melayu yang kau panggil 'melayu tak sedar diri' ni lah yang tolong kau...masa tu label-label tu semua dah tak boleh pakai.

I used to be 'melayu tak sedar diri' when i was in high school, 'modern malay' when in college, 'normal malay' when i worked in Muar and 'typical malay' now in Limkokwing.

Hurm, oh well. Mungkin yang membezakan melayu-melayu kat dunia ni...

Sembahyang lima waktu?




Living my life pathetically happy.
__Ib