.the get away.

Note down: The mend-my-broken-heart-vacation.

Being single has its perks.

With so much freedom on my hands, I decided to head off south to spend a few days with two of the most analytical and supportive person in my life. I decided to take it easy and just chill. I tried to confine from emotions and extricate myself from giving or receiving any hopeless anticipation in fear of masticating the truth that all those hope is going to fade away in the end.

I try to escape.

I like it here. You can actually pee with the door open; this house is so full of privacy. (except for the time to poo-poo) Every part of this house brings my childhood memories come to living in each awaken nights. There’s no hatred here, this place is filled with warm love and tender care. There are no bitter memories as far as I could remember, not even a person to hate. Here, I always felt welcome and wanted. They have accepted me since I am two months old. This place is quite sacred for me. Every time I felt low, I found heaven here, in the place and in the people. I chose the right shelter to secrete this time.

Handphones are off and the Internet usage is limited to blog only. No YM or MSN.

Bumming around at home may sound like fun but after a few hours of trying to knock myself off to some partial sleep, I just realized how empty my life is and can’t help but wondering how hard it’s going to be for me to face my days as a single, weird, paranoid 24 year old.

*Normal enough to know that I’m weird…but too damn weird to do anything about it*

At this very second, I’m still very much awake, sitting on a lime green beanie bag, staring expressionlessly at the wall in front of me, craving for some sausages, mayonnaise and cheese. Or carbonara.

I haven’t plugged my ear with my mp3 player for quite a few days *I thwart myself not to* and the only music that cheers my days here are the noise of chicken kokok-ing, the clamor of little kids crying, the sound of the wind blowing, birds twittering away and at times I hear almost nothing. *just the echo of emptiness of course* it’s a total bliss of self-ignorance. I’m totally detached from the outside world. Far-off from the normal life that I actually loathe. I’m neither here nor there. It is prudent for me to just fade away and dwell in the comfort of my isolation.

It’s startling to find out that the more I want to learn about myself, the lesser that I discover.

I don’t recognize me anymore *breathe in nervously*


Living my life pathetically happy.
__ib