.be your own shrink.

I had an amusing read yesterday at Kino. I read ‘Be Your Own Shrink’ by Dr Kevin Lamen. He wrote about the four temperaments and birth study. One of the most reliable means of learning to know oneself is the study of the temperaments. Out of four: sanguine, choleric, melancholic and phlegmatic, I see myself as a mixture of seeker sanguine and focuser melancholic (though I still see myself as a cloudoholic).

Sanguine indicates the personality of an individual with the temperament of blood, the season of spring (wet and hot), and the element of air. A person who is sanguine is generally optimistic, cheerful, even-tempered, confident, rational, popular, and fun-loving. They can be daydreamy to the point of not accomplishing anything and impulsive, acting on whims in an unpredictable fashion. a person who was a thoughtful ponderer had a melancholic disposition. Often very kind and considerate, melancholics can be highly creative - as in poets and artists - but also can become overly obsessed on the tragedy and cruelty in the world, thus becoming depressed. It also indicates the season of autumn (dry and cold) and the element of earth.

Cool, so I am a manic and depressed person. It said that both sanguines and melancholic could suffer the bipolar disorder (describing a class of mood disorders where the person experiences states or episodes of depression or mania, hypomania, and/or mixed states). Hah. Cool.

I am extroverted so it is more likely that I am a mixture of a carefree, easygoing person who can turn to be this very anxious and moody bitch. I have both quality of the sensation perceiving and intuitive feeling. Sanguine is described as the novelty seeker while melancholic the reward dependence. I playfully think about my friends and try to put them into the four.

And then there’s this Lamen’s discovery of birth study to which he divides into: firstborn, lastborn (often called baby bweks), middle born and only born. Yeah, lastborn is an attention seeker. I am. Why? Cause I’m the youngest. Hah. But the best part of the book is where he taught us how to know whether a person is a lastborn, firstborn etc by listing three childhood memories. I listed mine and bammm it hit me right on the face! Being the youngest, I was a popular kid in school where I am the center of attention. I was a prefect who is a top scorer and the most active student. I started to dance when I was five, where I won my first award in ‘Tarian Kreatif’ and has been actively involved in dancing, singing, choir, theatre, writing, debates, poetry, quizzes, netball and handball. Yeah yeah I conquer it all, greedy me hah? I lived in rumours and gossips in the first twelve years of schooling. Backstabbers loves me, I have rivals who would love to spread rumour that I am the adopted kid and that I colored my hair to red (its brown you idiot and its original) blah blah blah. I think I was hated by many and understood by few back then. The popular lastborn sanguine I am.

And I chose to be out of the limelight when I was in high school, mainly because I am so tired of being in the centre of everyone’s attention. People expect too much of me, I have to be this perfect daughter, the perfect student..perfect perfect perfect. Gah. I was a bit of the melancholy type in high school, who wrote poetry and paints. Dark and moody I was. Not the cheerful positive twelve years old. Haha. If one were to ask who is Ibah when she was 15, people would say "ooh she’s the one who sketch cartoon and write short novels and lyrics. There there the one in the corner."

I wonder what kind of person I am now.

I just hope I treat people right, be nice to everyone and favour them with all the kindness and love I can give.

I am sorry if I ever treat you wrong or make you uncomfortable by being around you or your loved ones. Lo siento. I'm just being ibah.

Pardon me.

\\i//


Living my life pathetically happy.
__Ib