.love me, loathe me.

A few days back, a friend told me; "ibah...ibah. You make me smile with your words," after I comfort him over a confusion. I thought to myself: 'Love me or loathe me."

Sometimes, it is tiring to explain myself to people. This and that. Even much more tiring to listen to people explaining about myself into my own ear.

I can be like this. I can be like that. And I can change from this to that in a snap of a finger.

On good days, I can be very bubbly, friendly and passionate so its easier for me to open up myself to people, where I will share my happy stories and thoughts on life.

But but.

On bad days, I can be a bit cold, defensive and annoying that you will want to stay as far away as possible from the sarcastic Ib. I would close myself up so no matter how hard you knock on the door, I would not answer.

Well, that's just a small part of being Ibah.

Fragile and petite. As the saying goes 'Good things comes in small packages' and the box written 'Handle with care'. I guess, this two best describes me. Ha ha.

---

Received a yahoo msg from an old friend. Years has gone by and still he hasn't stop trying to keep in touch, no matter how cold and aloof the treatment he got from me. Completely understandable. Ever love someone so much its hard to let go? To some people, it might take less than a minute to forget, but to some others...it might take years, maybe a lifetime. And if that someone tries to ignore you, making you feel unwanted...the feeling is much more worse than being dumped.

So, after all this while of behaving like a bitch...I would like to say hi to him :) I hope he's doing fine too. Wish him well.

The hardest part is to let go. You thought you've moved on...yeah you do move on, but the feeling keeps coming to you, haunting your lonely days. And just as you think you could stop loving him/her, you end up loving him/her more and more. Love is a risky business and it cannot be bargain. Win it over or risk losing it. I dont think I would take that risk again, enough of me loving only one person, and stick to the feeling until it fades.

Or is it much more risky than the win or lose situation? Because you got nothing in return.

Kan?

Ramadhan is just around the corner. Couldn't wait to celebrate the sacred month with my family and friends, break fasting together. I'm going home to Muar, to have my first puasa with my mom. Hope I could spend more time with her during this Ramadhan, insya Allah.

Selamat berpuasa to everyone.

:)



Living my life pathetically happy.
__ib