.its just going to hurt more.
I had a good time today, went out with Noreen and Kayla to Sg Wang…in search of the photography mag Riz has suggested me to buy.
I’m quite happy actually, I think I’ve found people who be-friend me sincerely. Both girls didn’t mind crossing the lecak road, in the rain, and accompany me to the mag shop just because I wanted to buy the mag so badly. Thank u darls…..love u gals a lot. *muahs*
We went out quite late in the evening, and end our day drinking lemonade and mocha whilst listening to the live band at a nearby café. Everyone was exhausted when we reached home; we bid goodbyes and went straight to bed.
And while I was trying to do some catch up with emails and msg-es that I felt provoked with the usual loneliness feeling. I was browsing through a friend’s friendster when I realized that he had broken up with his long time girlfriend. And what makes me feel so blue was that he still kept her photos in his friendster with captions like “it was great to have her around” and stuff like it. I mean, he sincerely loves his ex-girlfriend so much that he still appreciates the beautiful relationship despite the break up which I assume must be pretty awful for both of them.
I always wished that my previous relationship would be as beautiful as theirs even when we are no longer together. I mean, for the sake of friendship. But none of it ends up likewise. It seems like they just turn around without saying goodbye and left me with stupefied feelings.
Each and every single one of them.
And I hate it. I hate it that they walk away just like that. Like it didn’t mean anything to them, not even a little bit of feeling. No goodbyes, no hugs, no nothing. They turn around, and vanish into thin air. Leave me no trails or whatsoever. Even the one who always said that he will never love no one else but me, fails to show his appreciation.
Maybe, I never mean anything to anyone.
How sad. How sickening.
Living my life pathetically happy.
__Ib
Archives
.new way of blogging.
I’m sick and tired of my own blog and how it looks like.
I hate all the titles in my archives, which always starts with the word ‘the’. I’m being a bit too uptight with my own blog and it suppressed me from blogging these past few mundane days of my lacklustre life. I have this niggling feeling of uneasiness each time I open up my blog and it bothers my psyche.
So fickle-minded of me o_O
I’ve been struck by some sort of inertia that caused me to collapse onto my bed every morning in a state of confound to either go to class or to skip and I found snoozing my alarm clock as a very interesting exercise to work out my finger. Hah. What a pathetic excuse for being lethargic.
I can’t help telling myself everyday that I’m actually sick and tired of studying. No, not studying as in studying but studying where I have to attend classes and do assignments and follow school’s rules. Lately, I’ve this notion of quitting studies, find whatever job I could get hold of, continue my freelance working life and spend my days with my mom. I believe in learning from life experiences, from other people, from observations. But studying in LKW and get uptight with rules and assignment and other shits is so not me anymore.
When I was in my diploma days, I see myself as this one eager, hardworking girl who can’t wait to bloom, to meet new people, situation and challenges, to find a good, interesting job, and yes, like any other girl, was planning to get engaged, marry the one person I used to love and have his babies. Everything seems so perfect and going on well. I have everything I want right in my own hand, I score straight A’s, I did my intern with flying colors and land my first job as a junior designer for one and a half year to which I was awarded for my excellent service. My relationship was going on well, there’s even big plan as to get engaged and buy some properties together. We were eager to make a joint account and saving up for the big day. Everything seems so perfect and ideal. I had success in nearly every single thing that I did, success in relationship, success in work. My dreams went bigger and bigger. At the age of 22, I thought I had everything under my belt.
.i miss me.
And when it didn’t turn out quite right for me, everything seems to be torn apart. Dreams shattered and hopes lose. Situation sucked my faith in everything and breaks every pieces of me.
“You will never understand what pain really is until you have lost it.”
And I’ve lost everything right now, well, it seems like it. I lost all my hopes, my wishes, my faith…
In other words, I have lost myself.
.where is me?.
And I’ve no clue on how to finding I back again. I’ve change a lot and nothing seems to be like the way it used to be. I am not the old me…and that feeling sucks.
When something happen, it can be a turning point for you and perhaps change the way you observe life and your own perceptive about it.
It’s how you channel it to be something else that counts. Either you take it positively or the other way around. And I’m still in confusion on channelling mine. *sigh*
I’m so tired of showing to the world that I am happy and moving on and blah blah blah for I am actually not doing okay on the inside. I put on a happy face whilst inside is crying and sobbing. I put on a brave soul outer surface whilst within I’m still all frail and scrawny. And when I feel like this, I have to abide the feeling all by myself and its making me even weaker.
Where is the moment we need at the most
You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost
They tell me your blue skies fade to grey
They tell me your passion's gone away
And I don't need no carryin' on
You stand in the line just to hit a new low
You're faking a smile with the coffee to go
You tell me your life's been way off line
You're falling to pieces everytime
And I don't need no carryin' on
Cause you had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
The camera don't lie
You're coming back down and you really don't mind
You had a bad day
Well you need a blue sky holiday
The point is they laugh at what you say
And I don't need no carryin' on
Sometimes the system goes on the blink
And the whole thing turns out wrong
You might not make it back and you know
That you could be well oh that strong
And I'm not wrong
So where is the passion when you need it the most
You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost
I have a new roomie. Thank you Noreen darl…this room is not that lonely no more with you around.
At least, yang tinggal sepi hanya dalam hati. Yang lain2 dah tak sunyi lagi =)
Eurgh, trying to cheer myself up.
.omg i look like a drag.
.lurv u guyz a lot, life would be much much emptier without both of ya!.
At least, i still have them.
Living my life pathetically happy.
__Ib
I hate all the titles in my archives, which always starts with the word ‘the’. I’m being a bit too uptight with my own blog and it suppressed me from blogging these past few mundane days of my lacklustre life. I have this niggling feeling of uneasiness each time I open up my blog and it bothers my psyche.
So fickle-minded of me o_O
I’ve been struck by some sort of inertia that caused me to collapse onto my bed every morning in a state of confound to either go to class or to skip and I found snoozing my alarm clock as a very interesting exercise to work out my finger. Hah. What a pathetic excuse for being lethargic.
I can’t help telling myself everyday that I’m actually sick and tired of studying. No, not studying as in studying but studying where I have to attend classes and do assignments and follow school’s rules. Lately, I’ve this notion of quitting studies, find whatever job I could get hold of, continue my freelance working life and spend my days with my mom. I believe in learning from life experiences, from other people, from observations. But studying in LKW and get uptight with rules and assignment and other shits is so not me anymore.
When I was in my diploma days, I see myself as this one eager, hardworking girl who can’t wait to bloom, to meet new people, situation and challenges, to find a good, interesting job, and yes, like any other girl, was planning to get engaged, marry the one person I used to love and have his babies. Everything seems so perfect and going on well. I have everything I want right in my own hand, I score straight A’s, I did my intern with flying colors and land my first job as a junior designer for one and a half year to which I was awarded for my excellent service. My relationship was going on well, there’s even big plan as to get engaged and buy some properties together. We were eager to make a joint account and saving up for the big day. Everything seems so perfect and ideal. I had success in nearly every single thing that I did, success in relationship, success in work. My dreams went bigger and bigger. At the age of 22, I thought I had everything under my belt.
.i miss me.
And when it didn’t turn out quite right for me, everything seems to be torn apart. Dreams shattered and hopes lose. Situation sucked my faith in everything and breaks every pieces of me.
“You will never understand what pain really is until you have lost it.”
And I’ve lost everything right now, well, it seems like it. I lost all my hopes, my wishes, my faith…
In other words, I have lost myself.
.where is me?.
And I’ve no clue on how to finding I back again. I’ve change a lot and nothing seems to be like the way it used to be. I am not the old me…and that feeling sucks.
When something happen, it can be a turning point for you and perhaps change the way you observe life and your own perceptive about it.
It’s how you channel it to be something else that counts. Either you take it positively or the other way around. And I’m still in confusion on channelling mine. *sigh*
I’m so tired of showing to the world that I am happy and moving on and blah blah blah for I am actually not doing okay on the inside. I put on a happy face whilst inside is crying and sobbing. I put on a brave soul outer surface whilst within I’m still all frail and scrawny. And when I feel like this, I have to abide the feeling all by myself and its making me even weaker.
Where is the moment we need at the most
You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost
They tell me your blue skies fade to grey
They tell me your passion's gone away
And I don't need no carryin' on
You stand in the line just to hit a new low
You're faking a smile with the coffee to go
You tell me your life's been way off line
You're falling to pieces everytime
And I don't need no carryin' on
Cause you had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
The camera don't lie
You're coming back down and you really don't mind
You had a bad day
Well you need a blue sky holiday
The point is they laugh at what you say
And I don't need no carryin' on
Sometimes the system goes on the blink
And the whole thing turns out wrong
You might not make it back and you know
That you could be well oh that strong
And I'm not wrong
So where is the passion when you need it the most
You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost
I have a new roomie. Thank you Noreen darl…this room is not that lonely no more with you around.
At least, yang tinggal sepi hanya dalam hati. Yang lain2 dah tak sunyi lagi =)
Eurgh, trying to cheer myself up.
.omg i look like a drag.
.lurv u guyz a lot, life would be much much emptier without both of ya!.
At least, i still have them.
Living my life pathetically happy.
__Ib
.the tag game again.
Chronicle: The tag by Muzzo.
I’ve been tag by Muzzo.
To Muzzo : Laa…..tiga jer?? Hehehhehe
Okay here goes.
THREE NAMES YOU GO BY:
1. Ibah
2. Ib
3. I’ib (my name rhymes, bes nyer)
THREE SCREEN NAMES YOU HAVE HAD:
1. Ibcubuz
2. Ibah-
3. IbahANTz (since I’ve broken up this name is history. Its been so glamorous back then but now I’m sooo individual okay)
THREE THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. I’m a good friend.
2. I am a good lover
3. I am just good you goddammit haha
(I never believe one can tell other people things they like about themselves….its just sooo not sincere lar beb…poyo okay poyo) So if you are my friend, or you think you know me, then you know my best traits.
THREE THINGS YOU DON'T LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. Lazy
2. Paranoid
3. I can be an extreme emotional freak at times. It annoys my ex big time. Haha.
THREE PARTS OF YOUR HERITAGE:
1. Father’s side – my grandfather is a Chinese but heck I never look like one.
2. Mother’s side – Bugis! And I’m proud to be a Bugis-an! Yeargh!
3. Since mommy is dark-skinned and my dad is very fair, I end up looking like a Chindian, Serani, Sikh, and other lineage people always predict me based on my look. Hah! I’m melayu tulen okay!!
THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU (or mostly creep you out):
1. Failure – seriously, I don’t think I deserve it if I have done my best; malfunction is merely for those who never strive their best in anything.
2. Filem rosak!!!!!!!! Gambar rosakkkkkk or tak jadi bila antar cuci!!!!!!! Arghhh tidakkkkkkk!! – This one can bring damage to my brain and all it’s cells/nerves but luckily it hasn’t happen to any of my freelance work, it’s just the worst scenario that could happen to all the wedding photos I’ve took. *horrified*
3. Date line – it scares the shit out of me. Always.
THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS:
1. My camera.
2. My laptop
3. And the card reader that connects my camera’s SD card to my laptop.
THREE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW:
1. White spaghetti strap
2. Blue short.
3. Undies?
THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE BANDS (or artists at the moment):
1. Luther Vandross.
2. 112
3. L’arc-en-ciel~
THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE SONGS AT PRESENT:
1. G-Unit – Wanna Get To Know You
2. 112 – I’m crazy over you
3. Hot Hot Heat – Good night Good night
THREE NEW THINGS YOU WANT TO TRY IN THE NEXT 12 MONTHS:
1. Backpacking anywhere.
2. Shoots sunsets and clouds in other country, Cape Town or Bali perhaps…I dunno as long as outside of Malaysia.
3. Be rich or die trying haha.
THREE THINGS YOU WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP (love included in the package)
1. Honesty.
2. Undying Happiness.
3. Undivided attention (I know i know I can be a bit too demanding at times. Heck)
TWO TRUTHS AND A LIE:
1. I’m all lazy to make myself get up in the morning and go to class.
2. I’m feeling so goddamn lonely and agitating for some tender loving care.
3. I’m cutting my hair farking short tomorrow. Yeehaw!
Go figure.
THREE PEOPLE WHO HAVE TO TAKE THIS QUIZ NOW OR DIE PAINFULLY:
1. Abby.
2. Azuar.
3. Didie
( I want to tag Yat and Noreen as well but its only down to three, I tag abby because she’s always the first on my tag list, azuar because he never do any tag game I think, and didie because she used to tag me before….girls blame the tag game)
Living my life pathetically happy.
__Ib
I’ve been tag by Muzzo.
To Muzzo : Laa…..tiga jer?? Hehehhehe
Okay here goes.
THREE NAMES YOU GO BY:
1. Ibah
2. Ib
3. I’ib (my name rhymes, bes nyer)
THREE SCREEN NAMES YOU HAVE HAD:
1. Ibcubuz
2. Ibah-
3. IbahANTz (since I’ve broken up this name is history. Its been so glamorous back then but now I’m sooo individual okay)
THREE THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. I’m a good friend.
2. I am a good lover
3. I am just good you goddammit haha
(I never believe one can tell other people things they like about themselves….its just sooo not sincere lar beb…poyo okay poyo) So if you are my friend, or you think you know me, then you know my best traits.
THREE THINGS YOU DON'T LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. Lazy
2. Paranoid
3. I can be an extreme emotional freak at times. It annoys my ex big time. Haha.
THREE PARTS OF YOUR HERITAGE:
1. Father’s side – my grandfather is a Chinese but heck I never look like one.
2. Mother’s side – Bugis! And I’m proud to be a Bugis-an! Yeargh!
3. Since mommy is dark-skinned and my dad is very fair, I end up looking like a Chindian, Serani, Sikh, and other lineage people always predict me based on my look. Hah! I’m melayu tulen okay!!
THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU (or mostly creep you out):
1. Failure – seriously, I don’t think I deserve it if I have done my best; malfunction is merely for those who never strive their best in anything.
2. Filem rosak!!!!!!!! Gambar rosakkkkkk or tak jadi bila antar cuci!!!!!!! Arghhh tidakkkkkkk!! – This one can bring damage to my brain and all it’s cells/nerves but luckily it hasn’t happen to any of my freelance work, it’s just the worst scenario that could happen to all the wedding photos I’ve took. *horrified*
3. Date line – it scares the shit out of me. Always.
THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS:
1. My camera.
2. My laptop
3. And the card reader that connects my camera’s SD card to my laptop.
THREE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW:
1. White spaghetti strap
2. Blue short.
3. Undies?
THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE BANDS (or artists at the moment):
1. Luther Vandross.
2. 112
3. L’arc-en-ciel~
THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE SONGS AT PRESENT:
1. G-Unit – Wanna Get To Know You
2. 112 – I’m crazy over you
3. Hot Hot Heat – Good night Good night
THREE NEW THINGS YOU WANT TO TRY IN THE NEXT 12 MONTHS:
1. Backpacking anywhere.
2. Shoots sunsets and clouds in other country, Cape Town or Bali perhaps…I dunno as long as outside of Malaysia.
3. Be rich or die trying haha.
THREE THINGS YOU WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP (love included in the package)
1. Honesty.
2. Undying Happiness.
3. Undivided attention (I know i know I can be a bit too demanding at times. Heck)
TWO TRUTHS AND A LIE:
1. I’m all lazy to make myself get up in the morning and go to class.
2. I’m feeling so goddamn lonely and agitating for some tender loving care.
3. I’m cutting my hair farking short tomorrow. Yeehaw!
Go figure.
THREE PEOPLE WHO HAVE TO TAKE THIS QUIZ NOW OR DIE PAINFULLY:
1. Abby.
2. Azuar.
3. Didie
( I want to tag Yat and Noreen as well but its only down to three, I tag abby because she’s always the first on my tag list, azuar because he never do any tag game I think, and didie because she used to tag me before….girls blame the tag game)
Living my life pathetically happy.
__Ib
.the five part.
Chronicle: The what-i-dunno-lah
Your Five Factor Personality Profile |
 Extroversion: You have medium extroversion. You're not the life of the party, but you do show up for the party. Sometimes you are full of energy and open to new social experiences. But you also need to hibernate and enjoy your "down time." Conscientiousness: You have medium conscientiousness. You're generally good at balancing work and play. When you need to buckle down, you can usually get tasks done. But you've been known to goof off when you know you can get away with it. Agreeableness: You have high agreeableness. You are easy to get along with, and you value harmony highly. Helpful and generous, you are willing to compromise with almost anyone. You give people the benefit of the doubt and don't mind giving someone a second chance. Neuroticism: You have medium neuroticism. You're generally cool and collected, but sometimes you do panic. Little worries or problems can consume you, draining your energy. Your life is pretty smooth, but there's a few emotional bumps you'd like to get rid of. Openness to experience: Your openness to new experiences is high. In life, you tend to be an early adopter of all new things and ideas. You'll try almost anything interesting, and you're constantly pushing your own limits. A great connoisseir of art and beauty, you can find the positive side of almost anything. |
The Five Factor Personality Test
i'm bored. and that's just me. i've updated some photos in my flickr. Go on. Have a look. Enjoy it.
Have a great weekend, ya'll.
Living my life pathetically happy.
__Ib
Have a great weekend, ya'll.
Living my life pathetically happy.
__Ib
.the friends.
Chronicle: The friends, and the thoughts that count.
Demam panassss!
I've been down with bad fever for four days. My blood pressure is low and i'm getting skinnier. Which scares me.
I was sent back home to Muar by my brother and was babysit by mom. *i am such a baby*
I'm back in Cyberjaya. I thought i'm going to be okay, but condition is only getting worse. I dont know why, but i always felt so ill being in this townhouse i rent. There is no air flow and it's always and always hot in here. I never sleep much whenever i'm back in Cyberjaya.
I was so blardy ill last night, the cough syrup and all the other pills has cause me enough drowsiness to knock me off to sleep but yet I was awaken every half an hour or so, feeling so woozy. I'm suppose to go to Snow's class this morning but I cant even get up.
But you know what....
The feeling of loneliness is even sicker.
But at least, waktu kita sakit dan susah, kita akan terus mengerti siapa sebenarnya layak digelar 'sahabat' dan 'kawan'.
Thank you to all my good friends in Muar who came by to visit me and say hello. You guys are truly friends. Thank you dear noreen and azoe for the warm 'get well soon' and 'take care' wishes.
.who says sick people cant take photo?.
Living my life pathetically happy.
__Ib
Demam panassss!
I've been down with bad fever for four days. My blood pressure is low and i'm getting skinnier. Which scares me.
I was sent back home to Muar by my brother and was babysit by mom. *i am such a baby*
I'm back in Cyberjaya. I thought i'm going to be okay, but condition is only getting worse. I dont know why, but i always felt so ill being in this townhouse i rent. There is no air flow and it's always and always hot in here. I never sleep much whenever i'm back in Cyberjaya.
I was so blardy ill last night, the cough syrup and all the other pills has cause me enough drowsiness to knock me off to sleep but yet I was awaken every half an hour or so, feeling so woozy. I'm suppose to go to Snow's class this morning but I cant even get up.
But you know what....
The feeling of loneliness is even sicker.
But at least, waktu kita sakit dan susah, kita akan terus mengerti siapa sebenarnya layak digelar 'sahabat' dan 'kawan'.
Thank you to all my good friends in Muar who came by to visit me and say hello. You guys are truly friends. Thank you dear noreen and azoe for the warm 'get well soon' and 'take care' wishes.
.who says sick people cant take photo?.
Living my life pathetically happy.
__Ib
.the fever.
Chronicle: The sickness and dizziness and everything else.
I haven't update in a while and i'm kinda sick of viewing my own blog. I'm down with fever and bad sore throat these past few days *sneeze*
I've been skipping classes (and seem to enjoy it haha) and feel quite guilty actually. Mind me for losing my interest in graphics and advertising. My brain seems to froze everytime I try to fiddle with the illustrator. Printed ads doesnt seem to attract my attention anymore.
*sigh*
Here are some of the photos i took recently in DangaBay, Johor Bahru. Wont bore you with the journey details, enough with the photos. Enjoy!
.i have no idea what this is. is it my head or what? i cant seem to think clearly right now. *headaches*
.sunset.
.mommy.
.little aiman and me. my retro touch.
i can only managed to upload four. i can't stand staring at the screen no more. will update again soon. you can view my flickr for some latest updates, by the way.
I need to go to the clinic *sigh*
Take care everyone and enjoy the weekends.
Living my life pathetically happy.
__Ib
I haven't update in a while and i'm kinda sick of viewing my own blog. I'm down with fever and bad sore throat these past few days *sneeze*
I've been skipping classes (and seem to enjoy it haha) and feel quite guilty actually. Mind me for losing my interest in graphics and advertising. My brain seems to froze everytime I try to fiddle with the illustrator. Printed ads doesnt seem to attract my attention anymore.
*sigh*
Here are some of the photos i took recently in DangaBay, Johor Bahru. Wont bore you with the journey details, enough with the photos. Enjoy!
.i have no idea what this is. is it my head or what? i cant seem to think clearly right now. *headaches*
.sunset.
.mommy.
.little aiman and me. my retro touch.
i can only managed to upload four. i can't stand staring at the screen no more. will update again soon. you can view my flickr for some latest updates, by the way.
I need to go to the clinic *sigh*
Take care everyone and enjoy the weekends.
Living my life pathetically happy.
__Ib
.the children.
Chronicle: The children of today.
I worship children a lot. They amuse me in so many ways that tickled my inner soul and touch its core. They are the emblem of happiness, the insignia of liveliness.
They live this life without a care.
Sometimes I wish the adolescent in me stays in my skin ceaselessly. Hah.
I have seven nephews and nieces, enough to bring down the house every time ‘seven-seven’ of them gathered together. The eldest is now turning six while the youngest has just reached one yr and a half.
They give me enough headaches but yet they make me smile time and again with their behaviour. They are all very clever, witty, and bright and yes, creative in their own way.
And as I was browsing through some of old photos from my old camera, I just noticed their creativity and inventiveness that’s rather compelling. Each of them develops their own individuality and exceptionality of their own character at this phase of age. How startling!
*perhaps it’s because they’re fed with Enfagrow? Hah. What a thought.*
Hasya Nabila, 6 – very soft-spoken and co-ordinated, and always clean and proper top-to-toe, she might own her own spa one day, I hope. Right now she’s just busy yelling to her mommy “There’s one, tiny dirt on my shoe, Ibu!”
Izzah Azreen, 6 - is so genius in Mathematics (she’s been with Kumon since aged 4) and loves to count, pretending she’s in a restaurant counting money so I think she might be an accountant or open up her own business.
Amila Qistina, 5 –she’s very honest and straightforward that we always called her the ‘Cikgu Besar’. But she’s also so garang that she always said “Jangan main-main dengan Na…Na garang! Na polis!” Just hope she knows what the work is like.
Amierul Haziq, 4 –very good in remembering melody tunes and keeping up with drum beat, he’s now learning to play piano. But I see his creativity more towards building things; he might become an architect or engineer.
Tsara Khalis, 4 – this girl is one of a kind! Beautiful with curls and long, lentik eye-lashes, she loves to pose in front of the camera and catwalk in my high-heels. But what makes this girl extraordinaire is that she always and always, thinks out of the box! She will come out with ideas and solutions (often for herself lar) that normal kids could never think of!
Aiman Zikrie, 2 yrs and a half – he’s a true ‘orang seni’ as I always called him. He’s creative, sensitive, witty and always aware of his surroundings. He showed interest in art mostly, he loves to draw and sing and dance. But what he does best is tell us funny stories, often a tale about ‘Mak Lampir and Haziq.” Tembelang lebey.
Irfan Affandy, 1 yr and a half – auww he’s too clueless! He’s busy separating his toys in colours and sizes.
Here are some of the photos that could prove to you that little children influence us, adult, in so many ways actually.
.aiman and his drawing of aeroplane (te-te-plen as he calls it).
.semalam nak jadi pelukis jalanan, hari ni nak jadi bonzer plak dah.
.irfan is always camera-shy. Candid him as he was busy trying to grab my canon.
.he fiddles with cars, often. Jangan end up being a pomen, udah ler.
.tsara khalis, qistina and hasya.
.eyy apa ni curik2 ambik gambar Na!.
.Haziq with one of his inventions of buildings and structures. He said “Incredible is trying to invade the Giant, Ibu! It’s so tall, I don’t think he could make it!”
I'm uploading new photos in my flickr..
Enjoy.
Living my life pathetically happy.
__Ib
I worship children a lot. They amuse me in so many ways that tickled my inner soul and touch its core. They are the emblem of happiness, the insignia of liveliness.
They live this life without a care.
Sometimes I wish the adolescent in me stays in my skin ceaselessly. Hah.
I have seven nephews and nieces, enough to bring down the house every time ‘seven-seven’ of them gathered together. The eldest is now turning six while the youngest has just reached one yr and a half.
They give me enough headaches but yet they make me smile time and again with their behaviour. They are all very clever, witty, and bright and yes, creative in their own way.
And as I was browsing through some of old photos from my old camera, I just noticed their creativity and inventiveness that’s rather compelling. Each of them develops their own individuality and exceptionality of their own character at this phase of age. How startling!
*perhaps it’s because they’re fed with Enfagrow? Hah. What a thought.*
Hasya Nabila, 6 – very soft-spoken and co-ordinated, and always clean and proper top-to-toe, she might own her own spa one day, I hope. Right now she’s just busy yelling to her mommy “There’s one, tiny dirt on my shoe, Ibu!”
Izzah Azreen, 6 - is so genius in Mathematics (she’s been with Kumon since aged 4) and loves to count, pretending she’s in a restaurant counting money so I think she might be an accountant or open up her own business.
Amila Qistina, 5 –she’s very honest and straightforward that we always called her the ‘Cikgu Besar’. But she’s also so garang that she always said “Jangan main-main dengan Na…Na garang! Na polis!” Just hope she knows what the work is like.
Amierul Haziq, 4 –very good in remembering melody tunes and keeping up with drum beat, he’s now learning to play piano. But I see his creativity more towards building things; he might become an architect or engineer.
Tsara Khalis, 4 – this girl is one of a kind! Beautiful with curls and long, lentik eye-lashes, she loves to pose in front of the camera and catwalk in my high-heels. But what makes this girl extraordinaire is that she always and always, thinks out of the box! She will come out with ideas and solutions (often for herself lar) that normal kids could never think of!
Aiman Zikrie, 2 yrs and a half – he’s a true ‘orang seni’ as I always called him. He’s creative, sensitive, witty and always aware of his surroundings. He showed interest in art mostly, he loves to draw and sing and dance. But what he does best is tell us funny stories, often a tale about ‘Mak Lampir and Haziq.” Tembelang lebey.
Irfan Affandy, 1 yr and a half – auww he’s too clueless! He’s busy separating his toys in colours and sizes.
Here are some of the photos that could prove to you that little children influence us, adult, in so many ways actually.
.aiman and his drawing of aeroplane (te-te-plen as he calls it).
.semalam nak jadi pelukis jalanan, hari ni nak jadi bonzer plak dah.
.irfan is always camera-shy. Candid him as he was busy trying to grab my canon.
.he fiddles with cars, often. Jangan end up being a pomen, udah ler.
.tsara khalis, qistina and hasya.
.eyy apa ni curik2 ambik gambar Na!.
.Haziq with one of his inventions of buildings and structures. He said “Incredible is trying to invade the Giant, Ibu! It’s so tall, I don’t think he could make it!”
I'm uploading new photos in my flickr..
Enjoy.
Living my life pathetically happy.
__Ib
.the persetankan.
Chronicle: The Digital Photo Jeritan Jiwa.
It's been a pathetic week. I'm down with fever and headaches and 'kekacauan jiwa' and yes i've been lazy as well.
One of my photo has been published by my new friend, Beck’’.
for the reason that I’m a mutated freak who love to shoot. I mean why not? At least all the stupid snaps turn out to be something at last. You can check them out here. Thank you so much Beck, for introducing me to Jeritan Jiwa. My photos are not a waste of time anymore. Yay.
Regardless of what people always say about my madness over snapping photos non-stop, it does bring meaning to certain people. I remember people telling “ Laa….gambar kipas buruk pon nak ambik jugak ke?” whenever I tried to shoot some subject matters I found very nice or “Apa la yang kau terbongkok2 kat situ, Ibah?” when I tried to adjust the timer and angle. Though I seldom bother but its kinda disturbing to have to listen to that all the time. It’s pathetic. I shoot objects; I don’t shoot people as I know that might intimidate them more if I point my lens in front of their nose. I only shoot people as my subject matter if they are more than willing to pose for me.
You know what they say, pictures speak a thousand words. And being Ibah who’s a loner and doesn’t talk that much, I used photos to say my hello and to express feelings. So, bila aku tak bising-bising atau mengganggu ketenteraman jiwa orang lain dengan kata-kata dan pekikan suara, isn’t that the nicest thing I can do to other people? Like what my dear friend, Muzzo said; “by publishing that picture u have subliminally saying "hello" at me.” Thank you Muzzo, for understanding my need of connecting with people through my lense, if you are reading this. =) And thank you for interpreting one of my photo with your own point of view to which I really appreciate it.
And thank you muid for your version of ‘basikal tua’ and great copy! I simply love it!
Here’s some photos I’ve took quite a long while ago but just edited it in photoshop. Enjoy.
.fruit stall in Mauritius, taken during a visit.
.my foot buried in blue-ish sand.
.a concert i went in MMU.
.and i found this written on a girl's shirt. ptuihhh! idup liverpool!.
Living my life pathetically happy.
__Ib
It's been a pathetic week. I'm down with fever and headaches and 'kekacauan jiwa' and yes i've been lazy as well.
One of my photo has been published by my new friend, Beck’’.
for the reason that I’m a mutated freak who love to shoot. I mean why not? At least all the stupid snaps turn out to be something at last. You can check them out here. Thank you so much Beck, for introducing me to Jeritan Jiwa. My photos are not a waste of time anymore. Yay.
Regardless of what people always say about my madness over snapping photos non-stop, it does bring meaning to certain people. I remember people telling “ Laa….gambar kipas buruk pon nak ambik jugak ke?” whenever I tried to shoot some subject matters I found very nice or “Apa la yang kau terbongkok2 kat situ, Ibah?” when I tried to adjust the timer and angle. Though I seldom bother but its kinda disturbing to have to listen to that all the time. It’s pathetic. I shoot objects; I don’t shoot people as I know that might intimidate them more if I point my lens in front of their nose. I only shoot people as my subject matter if they are more than willing to pose for me.
You know what they say, pictures speak a thousand words. And being Ibah who’s a loner and doesn’t talk that much, I used photos to say my hello and to express feelings. So, bila aku tak bising-bising atau mengganggu ketenteraman jiwa orang lain dengan kata-kata dan pekikan suara, isn’t that the nicest thing I can do to other people? Like what my dear friend, Muzzo said; “by publishing that picture u have subliminally saying "hello" at me.” Thank you Muzzo, for understanding my need of connecting with people through my lense, if you are reading this. =) And thank you for interpreting one of my photo with your own point of view to which I really appreciate it.
And thank you muid for your version of ‘basikal tua’ and great copy! I simply love it!
Here’s some photos I’ve took quite a long while ago but just edited it in photoshop. Enjoy.
.fruit stall in Mauritius, taken during a visit.
.my foot buried in blue-ish sand.
.a concert i went in MMU.
.and i found this written on a girl's shirt. ptuihhh! idup liverpool!.
Living my life pathetically happy.
__Ib
.the theory.
Chronicle: The hypothesis of earthlings.
Here’s a theory, of earthling on earth that I would be more than delighted to share.
People, to me, are divided into two parts of life.
The one who is normal and the one who is quite erm abnormal? Okay it’s just a theory. Abnormal as in creatively unique, and normal as in practicality believer.
I was heading to OUG, by train, when I bumped into Zalika, a fashion student from LimKokWing. We were talking about some stuff, mainly about our philosophy of creativity excellencies *ehem* We agree about one thing; we do what we do for the reason that we are driven by passion.
And while we were talking that I realized amongst the people jam-packed in the train, we out-stand ourselves through our dressings and belief. It was awfully quiet and there we were, babbling about creativity chauvinism, if you know what I mean. People stare at us like we were some kind of aliens, shook their heads and whisper amongst themselves.
*it’s hard to travel in a train packed with normal earthlings and surrounded by normality*
Its everyday people and an everyday life there in the train, and its monotonous.
It’s like we were two colourful people and the others were just a plain hue.
I accompanied Ira for a tv host casting in Subang, with Luada Talent Production later in the evening. We were then joined in by Ez who wore a very stylish cardigan jacket which I can’t resist to snap it with my canon. The small studio was full of pretty, glamorous, faces with merely same style of make-ups and hairdos. Some are fakes, some are wannabes and some are friendly.
I spent my weekends in Muar with mommy… as I have nothing better much to do in KL except for assignments. Had dinner with Ito who lectured me about life and lots of things. *thanks dear* I always feel bored if someone lecture me but I don’t know why I can stand listening to Ito babbling, perhaps his soft-spoken voice had me pin my ears to him all night long. I guess the four year old boy I once saw when I was in kindergarten has blossomed to be a very pleasant, respective young man.
And I met Shahril last night. He lost weight already.
I’m v.glad that he at least smiled at me and and and…be nice to me and respect my friend, Ito.
And he told me that he missed me *and I miss him too*
If only I could hold his hand, stop his car from going and tell him “please stay.”
Coz I’m all tired, of waking up everyday feeling lonely.
.i love the woosh effect of rezo walking by (left).
.everyone seem to lentok to the left.
.the photographer, the tv-host to be, the model.
.lightssssss so bright.
.pudu.
.kota raya @ nite.
Living my life pathetically happy.
__Ib
Here’s a theory, of earthling on earth that I would be more than delighted to share.
People, to me, are divided into two parts of life.
The one who is normal and the one who is quite erm abnormal? Okay it’s just a theory. Abnormal as in creatively unique, and normal as in practicality believer.
I was heading to OUG, by train, when I bumped into Zalika, a fashion student from LimKokWing. We were talking about some stuff, mainly about our philosophy of creativity excellencies *ehem* We agree about one thing; we do what we do for the reason that we are driven by passion.
And while we were talking that I realized amongst the people jam-packed in the train, we out-stand ourselves through our dressings and belief. It was awfully quiet and there we were, babbling about creativity chauvinism, if you know what I mean. People stare at us like we were some kind of aliens, shook their heads and whisper amongst themselves.
*it’s hard to travel in a train packed with normal earthlings and surrounded by normality*
Its everyday people and an everyday life there in the train, and its monotonous.
It’s like we were two colourful people and the others were just a plain hue.
I accompanied Ira for a tv host casting in Subang, with Luada Talent Production later in the evening. We were then joined in by Ez who wore a very stylish cardigan jacket which I can’t resist to snap it with my canon. The small studio was full of pretty, glamorous, faces with merely same style of make-ups and hairdos. Some are fakes, some are wannabes and some are friendly.
I spent my weekends in Muar with mommy… as I have nothing better much to do in KL except for assignments. Had dinner with Ito who lectured me about life and lots of things. *thanks dear* I always feel bored if someone lecture me but I don’t know why I can stand listening to Ito babbling, perhaps his soft-spoken voice had me pin my ears to him all night long. I guess the four year old boy I once saw when I was in kindergarten has blossomed to be a very pleasant, respective young man.
And I met Shahril last night. He lost weight already.
I’m v.glad that he at least smiled at me and and and…be nice to me and respect my friend, Ito.
And he told me that he missed me *and I miss him too*
If only I could hold his hand, stop his car from going and tell him “please stay.”
Coz I’m all tired, of waking up everyday feeling lonely.
.i love the woosh effect of rezo walking by (left).
.everyone seem to lentok to the left.
.the photographer, the tv-host to be, the model.
.lightssssss so bright.
.pudu.
.kota raya @ nite.
Living my life pathetically happy.
__Ib
.the poyoness.
Chronicle: The mind is interrupted with stupid giddiness.
.buweks.
.the same pose,again!.
i am obsessessssss with my own self today. and this is the result of it. i am fanatically fixated with the black pearl and black shades. and my pink new tee. and my new pink flowery hair clip. and my new belt.
over la.
anyway....i love being scatter-brained once in a while. Heh.
As long as i'm happy with it. Right?
Living my life pathetically happy.
__Ib
.buweks.
.the same pose,again!.
i am obsessessssss with my own self today. and this is the result of it. i am fanatically fixated with the black pearl and black shades. and my pink new tee. and my new pink flowery hair clip. and my new belt.
over la.
anyway....i love being scatter-brained once in a while. Heh.
As long as i'm happy with it. Right?
Living my life pathetically happy.
__Ib
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