.back.

back for school, after chilling with my family and friends in Muar for Aidilfirti. It was indeed a blissful raya, Alhamdullilah. Had a great time visiting relatives and close friends. Since I didn't had much time to beraya sakan last year, this year had been a big chance for me to make up with my friends who had been complaining about my hiatus. Watched some great movies on TV, went for movies with friends...think, I have become an avid movie-goer (I can hear Muzzo roaring with laughter somewhere in the distant). Had diarrhea on the fifth of raya, due to excessive makan-makan at my friends'. It was.....crazy! Had mee hoon goreng at Salmi's, popiah and lotsa kuih raya at Anem's, mee bandung at mine, then had two plates of prawn filter with coke with the girls at the bakery, had nuggets and O.R fillet burger in the car while on our way to Sara's...it was...unbelievable. All three of us had to take turn to use the loo! Salmi gained a kilo in three days...me? I don't know...I don't think gaining a kilo would do much of a change to my petiteness. I never bother anyway, haha.

Speaking of gaining weigh, went for a jog with him at our usual park.

Him: I'm afraid of engagements. It scares me.
Me: I thought it's something you always want all this while...settling down.
Him: I'm still.....with you around....I....do u miss me? Dah lama tak pergi jogging kan?
Me: *went numb*

Honestly, I think guys have the tendency to freak out more than girls during the engagement process...though I think it's only normal to have a hard time to forget first love. Even harder when he/she lives nearby. I don't blame him though. As for me, first love is often a sincere, healthy relationship...and mine was. There's no lust involved, just a giddy feeling and butterflies in my tummy...for all I could remember. It lasted for two years and we ended it without arguements or hard feelings. It seems to...wash away with time. I can't remember myself crying over the break up or went histerical when he found someone new, let alone when he got engaged. Maybe this is why he had a hard time to forget? We are still good friends, keeping in touch whenever we could though I found him irritating when he keep asking about 'have u had urself a boyfriend yet you old grandmah?'. I still visit his aunt who lives alone near my place whenever I could, due to my respect to his family. She's one of my fav aunt in the world, we would discuss about the guys I like for hours and drink tea.

What I had with him was now a cherished memories, I no longer felt sour whenever I pass his house or went to the park. I treasure him and the memories we had, more than ever.

I want to talk more about raya in Muar...and post some photos...but maybe later.

Living my life pathetically happy.
__ib

.lebaran.

selamat hari raya aidilfitri!
maaf zahir dan batin!

.tiny cik ibah.

Living my life pathetically happy.

__ib

.nothing but patience.

decided to delete the last entry.

i felt like my patience is dangerously thinning. i even went to bed angry last night and woke up with a headache. i'm just tired with some people who has been mistreating me lately. i had enough of people 'come and go' as they please, i had enough of people bitching/backstabbing me, i had enough of snooty glances too.

and here i go again, feeling hurt and dissapointed.

wait, let me think of some happy moments that could cheer myself up. *think hard*

hurm, probably this?



*after iftar feast*

went for iftar with muzzo, zatyl and yana. chatted up on sigur ros, incubus, prison break and lomo cameras over bites of cheeseburger, fries and coke. after iftar, the girls went for their lomo snapping while i lepak-ed with muzzo and we continued our so called smart discussion on ogilvy and his documentary project.

love you guys a lot *hugs&kisses* will miss all of you during raya hols!



.photo taken by ibah @ cyberia.

and happy birthday to this guy, muhkriz iskandar. *fire cannon* happy 23!

thank you for being a jiwa kacau, loving, thoughtful friend all this while. don't forget my duit raya.

i'm all cheered up. off to the shower now.


Living my life pathetically happy.
__ib

.for better or worse.

Oh Lately It's So Quiet - ok go!

(Oh no) Oh lately it's so quiet in this place
You're not 'round every corner
(oh no) Oh lately it's so quiet in this place
So darlin' if your not here haunting me
Im wondering...

Whos house, are you haunting tonight?
Aw. Whose sheets you twist
Aw. Whose face you kiss
Whos house, are you haunting tonight?

(oh no) I dont think much about you anymore
You're not on every whisper, oh
(oh no) I dont think much about you
But if you're not lurking behind every curtain
Im wondering...

Whos house, are you haunting tonight?
Aw. Whose name you hiss
Aw. Whose clenching fists
Whos house, are you haunting tonight?
Now whos house, are you haunting tonight?

Aw. Who cant resist
Aw. Whose cryin'
Whos house, are you haunting tonight?
Aw. Whose name you hiss
Aw. Whose sheets you twist
Whos house, are you haunting tonight?

currently loving this cutey sexy song. the aw aw makes me go aw aw too. Damian Kulash's voice is...pretty funny, but in a cute way. And the song...a beautifully delicate ghost story.

---

Am I real?

*pinch*

I hope I am.

What makes Ibah, Ibah?

Is it the way she comb her hair? Or the way she sings in the shower?

Or perhaps, it's her quietness that makes Ibah, Ibah. Yes? No?

I've been questioning myself lately, one day when i'm no longer exist, what is the one thing about me that people will remember the most?

Is it...my photos? My writing?

Or the way I care about...them.

I got various answers from cousins and friends. (mereka-mereka ini sangat baik hati kerana melayan kerenah saya hehe) To those who got the sms..and replying it...thank you so much!

*grins*

Funnily, Zatyl sms-ed me: 'Ibah! Why r u asking these questions! R u having some kind of illness or something! I dont want you to die!

And I can't help but to notice the many, many '!' :D

Naufal said: '......who had dedicated her life to the advancement of the liberal arts.'

(Miss you Naufal! We'll hang out soon!)

which is...cool.

Just some self-reflect that i do in my quiet times.

---
He said: If you can't find the remedy, take the third choice.

I asked: What's the third one?

He said: Walk.

Maybe it is time for me to become selfish. Because it is time to put my heart and feelings the first priority in my life instead of other peoples'.

I don't belong to a place where I am unwelcomed and unwanted.

At the end of the day, i only have me,me and only me.

It's going to be a long walk of my life.

Living my life pathetically happy.
__ib

.the return of me?.

I am agitated to the max.

For the first time in my life, I found blogging - boring. It’s not that I don’t like it anymore. I just find blogging uncomfortable. Could it be that i'm tired of the same old same old? Or probably its because of the 'dead' feeling i've been getting since yesterday. Think, i'm just a tired ol' grandmah.

Cooked corned beef yesterday. Had it plainly with rice and a glass of orange juice. Have been craving for it for weeks already. It's my fav food now, I can eat it everyday. I can even down a pound of it in the course of a meal! Its just yummylicious! Will make corned beef sandwich tomorrow, with salads. Yumm.

Some friends told me 'you're getting skinnier.'

Have I?

And skinny is not good. It's unhealthy, though I think I've been eating, mind me, like a pig. Had my berbuka puasa at Absolute Thai several days ago at the Curve, and my friend told me 'i've never seen you eating happily like this before.' I thought 'Hey, food makes me happy.' And I had to agree with him. My eyes go 'boink boink' upon seeing the menu. Ordered pineapple fried rice and prawn popiah with lovely Thai sauce for dessert. Hmm...I think I wanna learn how to make prawn popiah, they made it so well i'm so in love with any prawn based cooking right now. I love the restaurant, you might wanna go check the place out too! Cosy and not too hectic, with lovely black and white photos hang on the wall and comfy cushions to rest on. My kinda restaurant-lah. Think, it could be my second fav place after the kopitiam in Central Market that served lovely chicken curry toasted bread and milk tea.

Right.

Better continue my assignments now. Has been delaying it since yesterdeath. Lazy bummer me.

Living my life pathetically happy.
__ib