got me-self a new blog to update my photos.
http://ibphotography.blogspot.com
expect more photos and less words of craps.
yippie!
Archives
.the polka-polky story.
out of the blue... i feel like drawing some cartoons. its been a lonnngg while now since i last sketch a good one. but i had a very positive vibe today that made me say 'hey i miss you pencil and papers' and started to sketch.
i felt so excited to draw that my hand was shaking like what. i was all giddy and imagine myself as a toddler, all happy and carefree. think, when you do something with all your heart and soul and really really put your mind to it, the outcome wouldnt be as bad as you thought it would be.
the little girl being named 'polkee'. havent had a name for the little boy though. probably 'polka' as it rhymes. there's more but these three are my favorites. when i was in school, when people asked the usual question of 'what do you want to be when you grow up?' i would happily said 'a cartoonist.' even friends often told me 'you draw so much you should be a cartoonist one day.' but my parents, being parents they are, rub the dream of my mind by saying 'you cant make a living out of this. drawing wont get you nowhere.' typical answer?
neah, its normal to take the most safest route. they let me took multimedia and graphic though, which isn't that far from what i love doing. i still sketched through out my first year of study in college; in the morning before class, in the middle of the class and in the evening after class. i even had a guy friend who stole my cartoon and framed it. funny. but it all stop when my drawing was thrown away by someone. soon after, the passion just die and became 'deep hurt'. everytime i tried to pick up the sketch book back, i just dont have the guts to do it no more.
till today. it probably took another few years before i start to sketch again.
so i told me best friend poupee d papier salmi about my excitement. turns out she's been doing the same too!
'dah lama aku tak draw seh.' says me.
'tu arr aku pon sama. gila lama tak draw. lukis mata pon tak balance. geram plak aku.'
'tangan dah keras cam hapa dah ni.'
and she reminds me of those days in school where i sketched my cartoon 'kadir the frog' and salmi with her 'salmi albert'. how i miss high school!!! that's salmi in the photo, drawing. and as you can see, obviously...salmi's drawing is far much better than mine. no wonder egg advertising loves her so much! haha!
right, now stinky polkee wants to take a shower and put on her polka dress. kiss kiss.
i felt so excited to draw that my hand was shaking like what. i was all giddy and imagine myself as a toddler, all happy and carefree. think, when you do something with all your heart and soul and really really put your mind to it, the outcome wouldnt be as bad as you thought it would be.
the little girl being named 'polkee'. havent had a name for the little boy though. probably 'polka' as it rhymes. there's more but these three are my favorites. when i was in school, when people asked the usual question of 'what do you want to be when you grow up?' i would happily said 'a cartoonist.' even friends often told me 'you draw so much you should be a cartoonist one day.' but my parents, being parents they are, rub the dream of my mind by saying 'you cant make a living out of this. drawing wont get you nowhere.' typical answer?
neah, its normal to take the most safest route. they let me took multimedia and graphic though, which isn't that far from what i love doing. i still sketched through out my first year of study in college; in the morning before class, in the middle of the class and in the evening after class. i even had a guy friend who stole my cartoon and framed it. funny. but it all stop when my drawing was thrown away by someone. soon after, the passion just die and became 'deep hurt'. everytime i tried to pick up the sketch book back, i just dont have the guts to do it no more.
till today. it probably took another few years before i start to sketch again.
so i told me best friend poupee d papier salmi about my excitement. turns out she's been doing the same too!
'dah lama aku tak draw seh.' says me.
'tu arr aku pon sama. gila lama tak draw. lukis mata pon tak balance. geram plak aku.'
'tangan dah keras cam hapa dah ni.'
and she reminds me of those days in school where i sketched my cartoon 'kadir the frog' and salmi with her 'salmi albert'. how i miss high school!!! that's salmi in the photo, drawing. and as you can see, obviously...salmi's drawing is far much better than mine. no wonder egg advertising loves her so much! haha!
right, now stinky polkee wants to take a shower and put on her polka dress. kiss kiss.
mon petit garçon
Its twenty minutes past midnight at the time of writing this. In a few more hours i'll be waking up horrified to know that my days of nothingness is over. School has started. Has the lazy bug out of my system yet?
as to use the last day of nothingness wisely, i decided to watch tv like mad. i never let the remote out of my sight for fear that somebody else would take it from me and switch the channel. today's on mcleod's daughters; drovers finally sold their cross-breed sheeps after killarney took back their sales. the love triangle between stevie, alex and fiona becomes more complicated but stevie was doing the right thing by walking away. hmm, i dont know anyone who watch this drama but i only love it as i find it inspiring and full of positiveness. one of the character, kate has a goat named Billy G. G for Grubby. Cute.
late in the evening, received an sms from azrin. we exchanged news of each other and finally agreed to go out for a little shopping and dinner. mon petite azrin chéri. i parked my ped outside his office, which happen to be at the same building as my partner-in-photography: azoe's studio and a small world it is they happen to know each other as well. azoe popped out to say hello to us. caught up with work, he cant follow us but promised to make it up for friday's outing.
i had to say that the jusco will be my next fav spot to ronda-ronda as it has everything that i need, from food place to my fav oldtown kopitiam to shopping heaven. they even have kimarie! now i can get my haircut easily. and adding up to the convenience is that its just a 15 minutes drive from home. (ah, with me anywhere is 15minutes drive!) there's a shop called Orange Sorbet that I really like. they sell really cool stuff from bolero to pumps at a v.v affordable price! I had to thank (and blame) azrin for introducing me to it. we browse around looking for the jacket i wanted. we were at the padini's kids looking at the fur jacket all white and comfy when i realized we both actually looked like 12 years old frisky kids!
with azrin around, he wont let me feel any sad or angry. he'll continue to make me laugh and smile. remembered muhkriz who cant stop talking about azrin and now look at me, i cant stop talking about him either. he reminds me of the late sudirman. petite, smart and always make people happy.
i love a good company and he's a great one indeed. i always appreciate people who i can lay my trust upon.
i would love to quote asha gill:
'It can get really scary and dark sometimes, but as long as you keep your eyes open, the Universe has a funny way of reaching into your heart and holding it gently. Things won't get better in a miraculous second, because we are on the path we need to be on, but when you realize you are not alone, things become more bearable. You know?'
inspirational.
i only managed to post this entry today.
as to use the last day of nothingness wisely, i decided to watch tv like mad. i never let the remote out of my sight for fear that somebody else would take it from me and switch the channel. today's on mcleod's daughters; drovers finally sold their cross-breed sheeps after killarney took back their sales. the love triangle between stevie, alex and fiona becomes more complicated but stevie was doing the right thing by walking away. hmm, i dont know anyone who watch this drama but i only love it as i find it inspiring and full of positiveness. one of the character, kate has a goat named Billy G. G for Grubby. Cute.
late in the evening, received an sms from azrin. we exchanged news of each other and finally agreed to go out for a little shopping and dinner. mon petite azrin chéri. i parked my ped outside his office, which happen to be at the same building as my partner-in-photography: azoe's studio and a small world it is they happen to know each other as well. azoe popped out to say hello to us. caught up with work, he cant follow us but promised to make it up for friday's outing.
i had to say that the jusco will be my next fav spot to ronda-ronda as it has everything that i need, from food place to my fav oldtown kopitiam to shopping heaven. they even have kimarie! now i can get my haircut easily. and adding up to the convenience is that its just a 15 minutes drive from home. (ah, with me anywhere is 15minutes drive!) there's a shop called Orange Sorbet that I really like. they sell really cool stuff from bolero to pumps at a v.v affordable price! I had to thank (and blame) azrin for introducing me to it. we browse around looking for the jacket i wanted. we were at the padini's kids looking at the fur jacket all white and comfy when i realized we both actually looked like 12 years old frisky kids!
with azrin around, he wont let me feel any sad or angry. he'll continue to make me laugh and smile. remembered muhkriz who cant stop talking about azrin and now look at me, i cant stop talking about him either. he reminds me of the late sudirman. petite, smart and always make people happy.
i love a good company and he's a great one indeed. i always appreciate people who i can lay my trust upon.
i would love to quote asha gill:
'It can get really scary and dark sometimes, but as long as you keep your eyes open, the Universe has a funny way of reaching into your heart and holding it gently. Things won't get better in a miraculous second, because we are on the path we need to be on, but when you realize you are not alone, things become more bearable. You know?'
inspirational.
i only managed to post this entry today.
.no words written for today's post.
i dont feel like typing in anything, though i've been writing down some thoughts until three in the morning yesterday.
it's a lovely weather outside. will take the kids to the park and watch them play.
.good day.
The day's wasting away. Watched Wimbledon for the fourth time. It was a good watch for a lazy evening with nothing to do. Okay not that there's nothing to do but i chose not to do anything. I'm not a paul bettany's fan but i think he looks sexy in the movie. White shirt and tennis. Clean cut and fit. My definition of sexy.
I've been in town for a week now but i haven't meet up with my close friends yet. Will make it up to them once i'm back to Cyberjaya. Hang out at Shakirah's cosy crib to watch CSI and played PS2 with her boyfriend. Havent been to her crib for a while now. My big cousin Shafique was at college for two days and kept calling to meet but I was just too damn lazy to drive there. Me, the lazy bugger. I owe him an apology and a lunch. its a new semester in a whole new year, i should get the lazy bug out of my system. been on holiday far too long now.
had a pleasant dinner with azrul yesterday. nando's chicken strips with rice and salads. had the flavor mild with hot flaming sauce. just returned from a hiking expedition, he talked about KK and how cold it was there. he's into sports and outdoor activities. rock climbing is in his to-do list for this year. and he has a long run to do this weekend. now, doesn't this makes me look like a lazy bugger even more?
we were surprised with the lovely deco of OUG's Secret Recipe. I've been to different spots, but this one tops it all. 'we'll hang out here next time.' he says. Cakes and comfy couch, I can't help but to agree. Think, I shouldn't be too defensive around anyone. Always let my guard up whenever one approaches. Its silly for me to think one will only go out with me just because. Even sillier to freak out, running around like a headless chicken when i heard them uttering the word 'i like you.' But he didn't freak me out or uttering the silly word. In fact, I cant thank him enough for having to do the trouble walking in the rain to return my handphone which i left in his car. Ibah, ibah.
Things can go from 'fancy' to 'like' to 'love' and move on towards 'hurt' and back to 'love' again. I think its the law of nature. I've been doing silly things to myself lately that had caused me pain. Not just to me but to someone I've kept so dear at heart as well. To see the tears running down his cheek was the most terrible feeling I've ever felt.
Which makes me think. Its awful, the feeling, but I need to learn to pull myself together each time the pain try to swing itself at me. I asked myself this when I was at his place the other day, 'Am i willing to take the risk to hurt myself everyday and see him hurt at the same time? Just because I want to be with him.' Its not worth the risk at all if two people are hurt. I dont want him to carry the pain in his heart. The only risk i will be taking is the risk of not being able to be there by his side when he grows old.
'So, wanna go out with me again next time?' azrul asked.
To shoot some pictures! Yay! I think he'll make a good canon buddy.
I've been in town for a week now but i haven't meet up with my close friends yet. Will make it up to them once i'm back to Cyberjaya. Hang out at Shakirah's cosy crib to watch CSI and played PS2 with her boyfriend. Havent been to her crib for a while now. My big cousin Shafique was at college for two days and kept calling to meet but I was just too damn lazy to drive there. Me, the lazy bugger. I owe him an apology and a lunch. its a new semester in a whole new year, i should get the lazy bug out of my system. been on holiday far too long now.
had a pleasant dinner with azrul yesterday. nando's chicken strips with rice and salads. had the flavor mild with hot flaming sauce. just returned from a hiking expedition, he talked about KK and how cold it was there. he's into sports and outdoor activities. rock climbing is in his to-do list for this year. and he has a long run to do this weekend. now, doesn't this makes me look like a lazy bugger even more?
we were surprised with the lovely deco of OUG's Secret Recipe. I've been to different spots, but this one tops it all. 'we'll hang out here next time.' he says. Cakes and comfy couch, I can't help but to agree. Think, I shouldn't be too defensive around anyone. Always let my guard up whenever one approaches. Its silly for me to think one will only go out with me just because. Even sillier to freak out, running around like a headless chicken when i heard them uttering the word 'i like you.' But he didn't freak me out or uttering the silly word. In fact, I cant thank him enough for having to do the trouble walking in the rain to return my handphone which i left in his car. Ibah, ibah.
Things can go from 'fancy' to 'like' to 'love' and move on towards 'hurt' and back to 'love' again. I think its the law of nature. I've been doing silly things to myself lately that had caused me pain. Not just to me but to someone I've kept so dear at heart as well. To see the tears running down his cheek was the most terrible feeling I've ever felt.
Which makes me think. Its awful, the feeling, but I need to learn to pull myself together each time the pain try to swing itself at me. I asked myself this when I was at his place the other day, 'Am i willing to take the risk to hurt myself everyday and see him hurt at the same time? Just because I want to be with him.' Its not worth the risk at all if two people are hurt. I dont want him to carry the pain in his heart. The only risk i will be taking is the risk of not being able to be there by his side when he grows old.
'So, wanna go out with me again next time?' azrul asked.
To shoot some pictures! Yay! I think he'll make a good canon buddy.
.hello kl-ites.
Well, hello KL. i'm back to the big city.
it was a nice saturday morning. planned to go out to borders earlier. but fickle-minded that i am, decided to just laze around at home. plus a friend had promised to come over and lepak. she didn't make it actually,for no apparent reason. probably glued to the bed feeling lazy like me.
so what could a boring 24 year old possibly do to kill the time? take photos. would not want to waste the natural lighting that shines underneath the bedroom's flowery curtain. my cat, surie kept making a hissing sound everytime i moved my tripod around. apart from surie, none of my family members are actually bothered with me being overly obsessive with the camera and tripod. think, they got used to see me lying around the cold floor and fake a dead pose. my brother and her wife were busy playing pool on my lappy so that had kept them to sit still while I move about.
watched "cinta" the previous night. not one of those typical malaysian movie, i had to say the director did quite a pretty good job. okay-lah, i thought. i like how the camera moves, which i think not many malaysian directors has yet to master. and the colors brings in the mood. amusingly, i find peirre andre's monotonous voice charming. or is it his face? i think if he's my boyfriend, the volcano inside my head that usually try to errupt unexpectedly would not flow its larva whenever i see him smile. there's something about that smile. ah, lets just say a quiet, soft-spoken, polite guys always melts me. i can see myself watching the movie again tonight.
told a friend, i dreamt about him. i wonder what it means. he says 'that's a sign to meet me today.' but since my hand was stuck to my camera, that wouldn't be it. i can't remember the last time i had a very soothing sleep, a sweet dream and waking up feeling so...peaceful. and happy.
it was a nice saturday morning. planned to go out to borders earlier. but fickle-minded that i am, decided to just laze around at home. plus a friend had promised to come over and lepak. she didn't make it actually,for no apparent reason. probably glued to the bed feeling lazy like me.
so what could a boring 24 year old possibly do to kill the time? take photos. would not want to waste the natural lighting that shines underneath the bedroom's flowery curtain. my cat, surie kept making a hissing sound everytime i moved my tripod around. apart from surie, none of my family members are actually bothered with me being overly obsessive with the camera and tripod. think, they got used to see me lying around the cold floor and fake a dead pose. my brother and her wife were busy playing pool on my lappy so that had kept them to sit still while I move about.
watched "cinta" the previous night. not one of those typical malaysian movie, i had to say the director did quite a pretty good job. okay-lah, i thought. i like how the camera moves, which i think not many malaysian directors has yet to master. and the colors brings in the mood. amusingly, i find peirre andre's monotonous voice charming. or is it his face? i think if he's my boyfriend, the volcano inside my head that usually try to errupt unexpectedly would not flow its larva whenever i see him smile. there's something about that smile. ah, lets just say a quiet, soft-spoken, polite guys always melts me. i can see myself watching the movie again tonight.
told a friend, i dreamt about him. i wonder what it means. he says 'that's a sign to meet me today.' but since my hand was stuck to my camera, that wouldn't be it. i can't remember the last time i had a very soothing sleep, a sweet dream and waking up feeling so...peaceful. and happy.
...even it doesnt really show through the above photos. am i lost? in a wonderful daze.
i felt silly.
.deviant.
okay so i tried to switch from flickr to deviantart. i'm now an official deviantart user. load some, but i think i'll take some time to fall in love with deviantart after so long loving my flickr. i dont even know how to check my own url. its pretty cool actually...they can detect the camera i'm using, the shutter speed etc etc.
i dont know how long will my deviantart account will exist. i'm just using it for the time being, at least after i finish 'fixing' my flickr. i still cant see myself as a......'deviantart'. i'm a flickr-ian. i need a proper place to show my photos instead of using the online ones, huh?
bubur cha cha and creme brulet. i know this has nothing to do with my switching...just remembered something a friend told me. she says "we are tough chickas, ibah. pain is just a word. we can still love the person even if we are so hurt deep inside. knowing that the person will love creme brulet more than bubur cha cha."
and i woke up thinking about it the whole morning. about the bubur cha cha and the creme brulet. wonder if anyone will like me for being the 'bubur cha cha' and not the 'creme brulet'?
its thursday and i'll be leaving tomorrow. leave the dreamy world behind and back to reality.
hurmm...the 'back to reality' part.
its thursday and i'll be leaving tomorrow. leave the dreamy world behind and back to reality.
hurmm...the 'back to reality' part.
can i just stay in the dreamy world? its kinda comfy.
.....like very comfy.
.amateur for a life time.
what a busy morning! three phone rings and some sms-es woke me up as early as 6am. funny, come to think of it. as I can't rolled back to sleep, made myself a cuppa hot milo and do my crossword. i'm going to finish it soon and will start with the new one my sister bought for me.
i'll be back to kl in a few days time. can't wait to meet up with friends and have a laugh, galleries to visit and places to chill. and i'm looking forward to go snapping with zatyl and yana. my babe salmi was waiting for me to come back to kl and we're going to bring our tripods out and shoot self-potraits like maniac!
but i will miss muar a lot. the feeling, the people, the old roads, my beloved friends. and there are two things i'll miss the most; mom's cooking and my astro. oh and my wireless surfing at my cousin's cc. as much as i cant wait to go back, i have a hard time leaving my holidays and muar. no more waiting for 4pm to buy bread and watching mcleod's daughters every evening.
went browsing through Cindy Sherman's page, a photographer,model and film maker. Sherman works in series, typically photographing herself in a range of costumes. I like some of her works, it has that kind of color and mood I still yearning to tackle. Her looks looked somewhat deadly, in an artistic way.
chatted up with azrin.
he says "you look different nowadays."
i say "is that so?"
he says "trust me, you do."
i say "yeah?"
he says "yeap. have you got yourself a bf? are you in love or something?"
i say "ohmygosh. no lah! why?"
he says "well, look at yourself in the mirror. your smile look more brighter."
and he meant the one and only pic in which i smiled. funny azrin. in love? reminds me of corrine bailey rae song "trouble sleeping". muzzo said "oh dont you know? what's inside of us reflex the outer side of us. because that positive vibe somehow put energy to our nerve,muscle and la la la. meaning that..eventho im ugly..but if i feel happy and positive inside..people can't stop thinking that i look like ethan hawke."
aha.
Was whining to my friend about my flickr account. here's whats blardy written:
Hey [ ibah ]! About your photos... You've run into one of the limits of a free account. Your free account will only display the most recent 200 photos you've uploaded. All of your photos beyond 200 will remain hidden from view until you either delete newer photos, or upgrade to a Pro account. None of your photos have been deleted, and if you upgrade, they'll all come back unharmed.
sad. so sad. how can they do this to me?
Madness! $24.95 per year for a pro account! Try to count it in Ringgit Malaysia! That would cost me frickingg 90 bucks! Wargh! I'm in the verge of jumping out of the window right now.
...and I seriously need to finish my website so i could upload unlimited photos. hah!
i'll be back to kl in a few days time. can't wait to meet up with friends and have a laugh, galleries to visit and places to chill. and i'm looking forward to go snapping with zatyl and yana. my babe salmi was waiting for me to come back to kl and we're going to bring our tripods out and shoot self-potraits like maniac!
but i will miss muar a lot. the feeling, the people, the old roads, my beloved friends. and there are two things i'll miss the most; mom's cooking and my astro. oh and my wireless surfing at my cousin's cc. as much as i cant wait to go back, i have a hard time leaving my holidays and muar. no more waiting for 4pm to buy bread and watching mcleod's daughters every evening.
went browsing through Cindy Sherman's page, a photographer,model and film maker. Sherman works in series, typically photographing herself in a range of costumes. I like some of her works, it has that kind of color and mood I still yearning to tackle. Her looks looked somewhat deadly, in an artistic way.
chatted up with azrin.
he says "you look different nowadays."
i say "is that so?"
he says "trust me, you do."
i say "yeah?"
he says "yeap. have you got yourself a bf? are you in love or something?"
i say "ohmygosh. no lah! why?"
he says "well, look at yourself in the mirror. your smile look more brighter."
and he meant the one and only pic in which i smiled. funny azrin. in love? reminds me of corrine bailey rae song "trouble sleeping". muzzo said "oh dont you know? what's inside of us reflex the outer side of us. because that positive vibe somehow put energy to our nerve,muscle and la la la. meaning that..eventho im ugly..but if i feel happy and positive inside..people can't stop thinking that i look like ethan hawke."
aha.
Was whining to my friend about my flickr account. here's whats blardy written:
Hey [ ibah ]! About your photos... You've run into one of the limits of a free account. Your free account will only display the most recent 200 photos you've uploaded. All of your photos beyond 200 will remain hidden from view until you either delete newer photos, or upgrade to a Pro account. None of your photos have been deleted, and if you upgrade, they'll all come back unharmed.
sad. so sad. how can they do this to me?
Madness! $24.95 per year for a pro account! Try to count it in Ringgit Malaysia! That would cost me frickingg 90 bucks! Wargh! I'm in the verge of jumping out of the window right now.
...and I seriously need to finish my website so i could upload unlimited photos. hah!
.obsession.
I was kinda bored at home with nothing to do...so off i went to my dusty old room. I haven't been there for ages! The house felt like a haunted mansion! The room is still tidy, just a bit dusty and the air felt 'usang' so I mess my stuff around a bit and began to snap. But I was feeling a bit too lazy to move the camera's angle as the room's heat got on my nerve faster than the click of my camera's shutter. But I was happy with most of the results. Edited them a bit and voila!
I'm obsessed with myself, huh? do you like the photos? there's more. Check out my flickr! I even made my mom tied me up! She asked "What are you up to? Suruh ikat-ikat segala..nak buat apa ni?" She told me that I remind her of my childhood days. She used to made me tried on lots and lots of weird costumes for the school's play...like i'm some kinda experiment.
For a 7 year old, I looked cute in lady bug costume.
.get well soon!.
received a msg from my dearest girlfriend, shazlin who undergo an operation to remove a cyst today at the Kuantan Medical Centre.
it was a shocking news, as we haven't been exchanging emails for quite a long time as she is super busy with work and study. i hope everything is okay with her.
my dear, if you are reading this (okay ibah you are being ridiculous!)...
GET WELL SOON, LIN!
love you so so much!! *hugs*
---
i'm in love.
with my new tripod and my crossword puzzle book. I can't live without them both. Nothing will come between us! They are my boyfriends now!
He says "the books are my girlfriend, ib. they dont cheat me. setia and tak menyakitkan hati."
I'll go up to level 2 next time. :)
p/s my flickr is updated! feel free to check out!
it was a shocking news, as we haven't been exchanging emails for quite a long time as she is super busy with work and study. i hope everything is okay with her.
my dear, if you are reading this (okay ibah you are being ridiculous!)...
GET WELL SOON, LIN!
love you so so much!! *hugs*
---
i'm in love.
with my new tripod and my crossword puzzle book. I can't live without them both. Nothing will come between us! They are my boyfriends now!
He says "the books are my girlfriend, ib. they dont cheat me. setia and tak menyakitkan hati."
I'll go up to level 2 next time. :)
p/s my flickr is updated! feel free to check out!
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