I am a fairly private, quiet and shy person. Those who've been reading my blog all this while might think otherwise though, basically based on my happy photos but that's just on the surface. Lately, i've found myself going up to total strangers and broke the ice with a few words and had wonderful, eye-opening conversations.
I've heard about unusual life experiences, jobs, ways of living and growing up, immigrants struggles and of course a lot of lessons and advices. Its like an exercise to the mind as we human often forgot. Yeap, melayu mudah lupa a friend always reminds me, so i try to find solace in everyone i meet along the way. At a stage where i sometimes feel so absolutely lonely, the conversations i had with them makes me feel like at least i am a part of the universe. I shall always remember this as it marks as a yet another special personal achievements.
I have a friend who has been my biggest mirror. He reflects me in some ways i sometimes find difficult to explain. It is in him i look at myself as the real me; human and full of flaws. In his eyes, i am imperfect. Through times, it is him that made me see it all. I studied every vivid detail of my life, scrutinize every inch of it and see crisp details. Finally, the truth i see becomes very familiar and more familiar than my own face. I have always look up for him all this while for i believe it is with him i may seek the truth.
The funny part is, my mirror is far much different than i am as a person. Countless times he will remind me of it. The closeness we had is indeed the thing that drew us apart. Sad but true.
I have heard of people telling me how strong and happy i am now. Believe me, what you read from my blog is just a 10% of what is really going on in my little atmosphere. My blog is more like a place of contemplation rather than catharsis. That is why you dont see any sad entries in here. Okay maybe some but it wont be there long enough to survive a day.
So what you read and see, sometimes, aint what you get.
My flaws. My flaws are just a natural part of who i am: a living entity on this earth. I dont need permission from critics, from backstabbers, from bitches, to be me. If i am drama, it is because i am born one. If i am sexy and you probably hate my guts to have taken lots of daring photos, it is because i got it all in me and you dont. Dont blame anyone if you were born a loser. Because truth is, no one is born a loser.
My many talented and sincere friends are endlessly supportive and inspiring as i struggled to find jobs and clients and finding strength to continue what i do. I should be thankful for having them in my life.
Muzzafar. My favorite dude on earth. I dont know why i'm posting his photo up as it doesnt relate to this entry at all. Just feels like to, I suppose.
I was browsing around a music store with a dear friend yesterday. Fall in love with this song:
Sleep, don't weep, my sweet love
Your face is all wet and your day was rough
So do what you must do to find yourself
Wear another shoe, paint my shelf
Those times that I was broke, and you stood strong
I think I found a place where I...
Sleep, don't weep, my sweet love
Your face is all wet 'cause our days were rough
So do what you must do to fill that hole
Wear another shoe to comfort the soul
Those times that I was broke, and you stood strong
I think I found a place where I feel I will...
Sleep, don't weep, my sweet love
My face is all wet 'cause my day was rough
So do what you must do to find yourself
Wear another shoe, paint my shelf
Those times that I was broke, and you stood strong
I hope I find a place where I feel I belong
Sleep, don't weep, my sweet love
My face is all wet 'cause my day was rough
Damien Rice; sleep dont weep. Thank you again for you lovely people who've been sharing your thoughts and feelings with me. *hugs*
me Hugs you back
aww.
*hugs hugs hugs*
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