.not tonight.

Was on my way home from work and it was already quite late when i drove passed that area. I recoqnized it quickly where i was. And then it striked me, that dreadful feeling. I slowed down, think for a moment and decided to change lane. Parked my car at the empty car park, slipped on my jacket and got out. 'Just to remember the feeling, ib. It would be nice.' told myself silently. Took my own sweet time walking down the road and let the night's chill bit my skin. There's not many vehicles around, leaving just me and my mind wandering aimlessly.

Its all still very vague and familiar.

I passed the Maybank, waited for the light to turn red and the cars stopped, before crossing to the other side. I know for a fact that somehow my feet was giving me directions, not necessarily right or wrong, but it leads me to the path. There's a heavy sense of loneliness, yes, but i tried to ignore. I felt him walking along beside me, my mind was trying to play a trick. I walked and walked and walked till i saw the big old building stood coldly right in front of me. I smiled upon looking at it and said 'hello.'

I took a moment, closed my eyes and listen hard...so hard i cant hear anything else but the little voice inside my head. 'You pushed me away, my dear and away i go.' Tears that rolled down my cheek caught me by surprise. I knew, it had been a while since i last let myself buried in deep emotions as this.

When we go away for a long time, we often get a slight uncomfortable feeling of coming back. Truth is, if the place we are headed to is home, we are always welcomed nonetheless.

The old building in front of me is my little kingdom. I am the princess...and he is the prince. But not tonight.

Slowly i turned around, took a last glance and headed back to my car. I left the sad feeling behind. 'Not tonight, ib. You have an important meeting tomorrow.'