.a little cost for company.

Having a week off from work means i have a lot of time to catch up with myself. I read, watch TV and just laze around, stretching myself up on the couch like a cat, doing nothing.

The neighborhood is awfully quiet in the morning, more often than not, eventhough there are times i can hear kids laughing away in the distant when they got home from school in the afternoon.

Most evening was spent napping the day away. Either that or i have a book (or a mag) in one hand and a cuppa on the other. I get to enjoy myself until 9pm coz by then the kids are already home making noises like kiddies do.

Yesterday, on the other hand, found myself doing a lot of thinking. And i realize, well i've been realizing this a long while now, that human, exclude no one, is indeed fragile.

You, me, the guy behind the counter...everyone.

And being little miss fragile, i cant help but to shed a tear last night. My heart just shattered into pieces whilst fighting the disasters inside my head. I felt like a soulless ghost that wanders around at night, spooking every little children who is still not yet asleep. I'm not sure why i felt that way, probably because of my chicken pox, or the book i was reading or the sad song that's been humming inside my head for the past 36 days.

Truth is, i'm gonna spend the rest of my life alone. Sooner or later, all my friends will get married, the guys who comes to me for companionship will find their soulmates and left me shivering cold at night, all by myself.

I'm not sure if anyone would want to stay. Nobody ever stays. They left. I'm like Portman in closer; unlucky. Devote herself to a man who stays for company but left her for a perfect woman.

But hey, at least i got my chicken pox now and not when i'm fifty, old and with a bad weak knee.

I have eight nieces and nephews, to whom i will pour my love and care, telling the girls to always love and respect themselves and to be careful not to get their heart broken by boys and the boys to be a gentlemen, give the seat to the elderly and not to break any girl's heart.

I've done both. I broke a heart and got my heart trampled. Its not a very nice feeling but i've learnt my lesson. You see, i got a little bit distracted by all these petty thoughts. I seriously need to get back to work and hold on to some re-focusing.

Thank you to all you lovely souls out there who've been kind and sweet enough to check in on me everyday. (you know who you're not) Such dears.

Thank you naufal, for the endless talk at nights. I'm gonna miss you a lot comes september.

Right, i'm gonna finish my chicken sausage roll and latte, take my pills and head home.

Where you think i am right now? I'm at starbucks nearby my house. This is ibah you're talking about. She can only be glued on the bed for five days, its a record so far. And i got my MC for two more days coz i'm still not quite heal. Went to MPH last saturday with my sis and bought two more books to read.

One of the book is a cheap one called 'the siren of solace glen' by some not so famous writer.

RM4.90 for a camaraderie.