.here comes november.

Here comes November, my favorite month of the year. Well, actually I love December more but you see I wasn’t born in December.

I love November for its chilly weather. It rains a lot of late making me super sleepy always at work. It’s really hot outside right now, though. The sunlight is peeking through the glass window greeting a chirpy hello. I said hello back and rolled up the blind a bit more to let in more light.

My mind has been a bit disturbed with doubts. I tried to stay calm and find every solution that I can get to solve matters. And you see, dealing with matters of the heart is not an easy task.

I wonder if I have been too overly spontaneous?

With love. With myself. With the people around me.

Maybe. But that’s just me. As much as I cant push anyone to change, I don’t think I could get rid this one part of me that is rebellious and crazy. I improved but I am still who I was twenty-five years ago.

I am completely aware of my action, what I am doing and why I am doing it. I thought things are moving instead it has been stagnant still while i was busy trying to spin the wheel. Asked a close friend over dinner, perhaps, it is I who is being misunderstood?

Misunderstood or have not yet being understood.

I am, unpredictable. Poor those who try their best to understand a full of twists and turns creature as ibah.

Sometimes, I wish I were less complicated.
Or that I don’t demand and expect things.
But I do.

It took me a whole day to re-analyze everything. Everyone needs some careful handling every now and then, but it has become a pattern that i just feel the need to ask myself why. Strangely enough, i found the answers i've been looking for in no time. Its so transparent.

Knowing when to push each other is important, but it's equally as important to know when to back off.

Had a quiet dinner with my dear Eka who helped me to sort things out a bit. My left-brain he has always been. It’s my call now, he says.

Apologies for not sharing happy stories on my getaway trip. It’s a bit personal to share it here. Okay. Here’s a spill. I enjoyed every minute of the trip and spent much needed time with him.

The sunlight is peeking again. I’m gonna play with it and catch you later.