.twenty five.

I had a brilliant picnic birthday bash.

The night part where I had a wonderful dinner with my closest friends was awesome too. The cupcakes trick really worked! Credits to yana for making it happened. Everyone loved the blue-ish and pink-ish color as well as the cute design. Muzzy said “I tak pernah ada cake with my name written on it” as he stared lovingly at his sweet sugar stuff. My boyfriend was the life of the bash, entertaining everyone with his funny jokes. Yea, we were sort of loud. Nonetheless, a great way to end the birth day.

A day before I turned twenty-five, had a simple but great celebration with my family. Mom, still thinking I’m nine years old, did the same thing she had done for me on my birthday for the past twenty five years. She bought me KFC, a chocolate cake and made me milo. Sweet funny mom.

And today, I got myself my own birthday present. A long awaited vehicle to transport me to places I wanna go. Black, sleek and spacious enough for yours truly. She looks smart.

As I ponder today, over cupcakes and cookies, I am grateful, Alhamdulillah, for all the blessings I have received; loving family, amazing friends, talent, brain that works and the knack to pick out the good from the bad.

Life is still a long journey ahead of me. There’s still so much to do, places to be, friends to hug, dreams to realize. I have my fair share in making poor decisions and trusting the wrong people. This has certainly made me who I am today.

I am loved by those who truly care, who have been loyal throughout my ups and downs, which have been there in my time of need and laugh/dance/do wicked stuff together without a care in the world.

Here’s a big hug, many kisses and a zillion thank you to all of you lovely souls. Muzzo + Salmi for the Audrey Hepburn autobiography that I’ve always wanted, Yana + Zatyl for the lovely cupcakes and necklace, Eka + Nadiah for the inspiring photography frame work, Zam + Kenny for the cute Dora-Dora thingy, Naufal for my favorite Pablo Neruda love poem collection, lovely postcards, Mario Testino photography book, DVD and great lunch, Ira, Muid (love you too muid!) , Abby (and I love you too gal!) Fairuz, (okay ermm dunno if its appropriate to say so to you haha), Faiz, Gya, Faisal, Zamier, Anem, Wawa, Fizah, Man, Hairy, JingYing for the lunch, my colleague Iera (she wished me not less than 25times), Ann, Haikal, omg have I left out any names? Yes thank you to all of you for the warm wishes, birthday songs and gifts!

I do not want to namedrop but one my friend said “But we want to see our names appear in your blog!” So there go.

And of course to the sweet loving guy in my life right now, an endless thank you for the lovely picnic for two. Something I've always wishing for my whole life.

Cheers, everyone!

.better together.

Okay so i ran out of ideas to blog. Probably could post up some lyrics? I have been listening to Jack Johnson of late. I miss my rockin' days. Here's one of my fav picked from the album In Between. A chillin' tune to listen to when its raining outside. Giler layan!

Jack Johnson - Better Together

There's no combination of words I could put on the back of a postcard
And no song that I could sing but I can try for your heart
And our dreams and they are made out of real things
Like a shoebox of photographs with sepia-toned loving
Love is the answer at least for most of the questions in my heart
Why are we here? And where do we go? And how come it's so hard?
It's not always easy and sometimes life can be deceiving
I'll tell you one thing, it's always better when we're together

It's always better when we're together
We'll look at the stars when we're together
It's always better when we're together
it's always better when we're together

And all of these moments just might find there way into my dreams tonight
But I know that theyll be gone when the morning light sings
Or brings new things but tomorrow night you see
That they'll be gone too, too many things I have to do
But if all of these dreams might find there way into my day to day scene
I'd be under the impression I was somewhere in between
With only two, just me and you, not so many things we got to do
Or places we got to be we'll sit beneath the mango tree now

Its always better when we're together
We're somewhere in between together
It's always better when we're together
It's always better when we're together

I believe in memories they look so pretty when I sleep
And when I wake up you look so pretty sleeping next to me
But there is not enough time
And there is no song I could sing
And there is no combination of words I could say
But I will still tell you one thing
We're better together

Oh, jack. I love you to bits.

.twinkling lights.

I love surprises.
I love sweet little things in life.

And I had a brilliant romantic night yesterday.

My best friend and I had this thing planned since Wednesday. He was being a bit frisky and overly excited but I assumed he was just in love. The plan? Watch fireflies! We have little clue of what to expect but we wanted to see the little bugs so much we just head on with our plan. Plus, one was bored and another was upset. We need something to excite ourselves.

We left Subang at about 5ish and arrived in Kuala Selangor just in time to watch sunset. By 7.30pm we were on a fantastic boat ride to see thousands of flashing fireflies covering the trees along the banks. There were so many of them it looked almost like sparkling Christmas tree! We cruised along quietly, marveling at the masses of twinkling lights. There were one time when the boat stopped very very near to the mangrove tree that the fireflies were just beneath our eyes. One of them flew right above my boyfriend’s head, like Thumbellina, sprinkling its magic dust of luck. Told him he'll have 10 days of good fortune.

Its really dreamy, this place. Almost magical.

We enjoyed a great dinner at a floating restaurant called River View afterwards. The meals were absolutely delicious and cheap! Everyone had three to four serving. We can always go back just for the chicken and squid :P

We headed back with a happy stomach, sleepy eyes and romance inside our heart. I was somewhat saddened to leave. Twas such an amazing night. To be honest, I have never imagine to enjoy such beauty with someone who is very dear to me. I wanted to say love but decided not too. Love is too pricey a word for me to say right now.

I wish that night could never end. Cheesy? But its the truth.

I'm scared at times. Happiness is like a flickr of light. Beautiful to enjoy while it last, but it can be gone in a blink of an eye.

I know i'm gonna miss that place, i'm gonna miss the fireflies and the feeling i feel that night.

.here comes november.

Here comes November, my favorite month of the year. Well, actually I love December more but you see I wasn’t born in December.

I love November for its chilly weather. It rains a lot of late making me super sleepy always at work. It’s really hot outside right now, though. The sunlight is peeking through the glass window greeting a chirpy hello. I said hello back and rolled up the blind a bit more to let in more light.

My mind has been a bit disturbed with doubts. I tried to stay calm and find every solution that I can get to solve matters. And you see, dealing with matters of the heart is not an easy task.

I wonder if I have been too overly spontaneous?

With love. With myself. With the people around me.

Maybe. But that’s just me. As much as I cant push anyone to change, I don’t think I could get rid this one part of me that is rebellious and crazy. I improved but I am still who I was twenty-five years ago.

I am completely aware of my action, what I am doing and why I am doing it. I thought things are moving instead it has been stagnant still while i was busy trying to spin the wheel. Asked a close friend over dinner, perhaps, it is I who is being misunderstood?

Misunderstood or have not yet being understood.

I am, unpredictable. Poor those who try their best to understand a full of twists and turns creature as ibah.

Sometimes, I wish I were less complicated.
Or that I don’t demand and expect things.
But I do.

It took me a whole day to re-analyze everything. Everyone needs some careful handling every now and then, but it has become a pattern that i just feel the need to ask myself why. Strangely enough, i found the answers i've been looking for in no time. Its so transparent.

Knowing when to push each other is important, but it's equally as important to know when to back off.

Had a quiet dinner with my dear Eka who helped me to sort things out a bit. My left-brain he has always been. It’s my call now, he says.

Apologies for not sharing happy stories on my getaway trip. It’s a bit personal to share it here. Okay. Here’s a spill. I enjoyed every minute of the trip and spent much needed time with him.

The sunlight is peeking again. I’m gonna play with it and catch you later.

.you cant be too thin.

My boss just bought me a new iMac. The O XS version. Damn sleek keyboard! 'You cant be too thin.' A reason for me not to be sad at all this week teehee. How can i be? I have a new toy to play around with! And pretty much soon there'll be a Canon EOS adding up to my toy store.

Yea, you guess it right. I'm blogging from my new mac *grins*

I wanna watch Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium. Natalie Portman in a kid's movies? Ooh ooh and 'I'm not there' - 'i just wanna be me. whoever that is.' Bob Dylan! Hmm might be dragging Muzzy boy along since he always perasan that he IS Bob Dylan. Watched Stardust the other night, its entertaining. Or shall i say; Robert De Niro was the reason the movie was entertaining?

I shall make a list of 'movie-to-watch' since i have a blank period of time till December. Thats when the stress kicking back in.