A Long Night

I've been staying overnight at the hospital. Mom was warded in ICU, her first after a long while of not being THIS sick.

Shall I say, for someone who is VERY VERY strong as my mum.....seeing her weak and wrapped up in wires is the most painful of all feelings. I've never feel this helpless. If I could trade places with her, I am more than willing. Her courage and strength to survive is something not an ordinary people like us would have. I really admire her for that. Mum suffers a kind of medical emergency that quickly lead to death, but Alhamdullilah, with God willing...she survived.

But truth is truth. So all I can do is be strong for her and my siblings. Stayed overnight, just in case. Tell her jokes, makes her laugh, makes her smile, comb her hair, tied her long hair up in a bun, massage her legs, suapkan makan, pakaikan stokin so that her feet wont feel the cold, bring her favorite pillow. Anything for her. Anything.

Its nothing compared to what she has done for me all her life. Not just for me, but also for all the sacrifices she has done for everyone she has helped for the past 50 years.

I believe that there's two types of people in this world. A kind-hearted person and a person who tries so hard to appear as a kind-hearted person. There's a difference. I know this, because I have been living with the most kind-hearted and loving person my whole life. My mom. So yea, I know one, when I see one.

My point is, when you're kind and sincere, people loves you unconditionally. Its the law of nature. You be good to others, and you will receive the same. You pick fights with people or create a mess with everyone around you, people stay away. Its all logic.

And because my mom is the kind who is amazingly humble, strong, loving, kind and selfless (i can pick another thousand of great words for her) she has her family members; sisters, brothers, children, grandchildren, nephews, nieces, in-laws, friends, her children's friends, students...practically everyone; queuing up to take turn to visit her in ICU. The doctors and nurses can't say much because they too loves her. Fortunately for me, even MN's family - cousins, aunts and uncles; came to visit my mom because they love and respect her a lot.

So you can imagine how busy the day was earlier at the waiting room :)

I would love to write in more about my beloved, beloved mother. But all I can type in is this quick entry. I need to rest up a bit so I can have some energy for tomorrow.

For all my dear dear dear friends who have been staying in touch, keeping my spirit up, listening to my cries and offers help of any kind; I can't thank you much for being with me through this very difficult of time. My love and prayers for all of you. You know who you are.

I am more than grateful to be under my mom's pair of wings. To be her daughter and learn about life from her is something I would never trade with anything else.

A poem written by my fiance (on behalf of me) for my mom on her birthday last March:


It is hard to find the words to say
How much you mean to me,
But if it wasn’t for your love and care
I don’t know where I’d be.
You put up with my eccentricities
And me likes and no-likey,
You let me dance and learn art
And you looked after my chiky chiky. (btw, its my pet-chicken hihi)
You take me where I need to go
And welcome all my friends,
And though I sometimes make mistakes
Your kindness never ends.
This day is for letting you know
How loved you really are,
But there are not enough hours in the day
Not enough by far.
‘Thank you’ doesn’t fit the bill
There’s so much more to say,
But I want you to know that I’m grateful
Each and every day.