.and this is my dream.

i know...it's still going to be a long journey for me, to achieve my dream. but i know i will own it, one day.

my own studio.

no matter how hard, no matter how the going gets tough and the tough gets going, i'll try whatever that i could, to have it. and i wont let anything or anyone to step in my way. i once ended my 5 years relationship (and i'm so so sorry to have to do it, i was being selfish i know) in order to pursue my dreams to be a photographer. i guess, i was being too ambitious at the time, greedy a bit, just because i was so eager to accomplish my dream. well, i lost 'something' great but i gained a lot too. i found myself, and i found great friends.

from the first day i started to study in limkokwing, i had a hunch that it's not going to be that easy coz it's not really what i want to do with my life. i know, education is important, degree could guarantee a better salary than what my ex-boss was paying me yadda yadda. i did it anyway, for my mom, him and my family. as a year passed me by, i realized what i did best in my life, and i wanted to make something out of it.

and that is photography.

i always knew, that photography is my life. i've been taking photos since i was a kid. i love design, yeah, but the satisfaction of snapping photos couldnt beat anything else. so when i got my first cheque of RM3000, all i wanted to do was to buy a dslr. i shared the dreams with him, i was so excited that i think i nearly fainted when he kinda disagree with the idea. it broke my heart. i thought, wouldnt it be great? to shoot, save up the money we got and pursue our dreams of working together? we were always a great partner. i gave him up, the relationship and the dreams, just because. i bought my nephew a piano with the money, hoping that he would continue my love in music. (haziq had his first concert few months back :) )

but as i thought nobody would ever support me with my photography thing, God proved it that i might be wrong. he sent me someone who stole my photos from my flickr and made it his wallpaper. the guy told me that i shot great photos. my heart skipped a beat, and i started to shoot more and more photos ever since. i thought 'if i could reach out to this guy with a silly sunset photo, i could reach out to more people with more other good photos! he was my hero, i was in the verge of giving up when i got the msg. he did 'saved my life'. ^-^ and we were buddies since.

last sunday, i got another wedding job (after much attempts of scoring one) and my spirit lift up again. i thought to myself, i can do this. i can have my own studio. i can be like kid chan, and people will pay me rm3k for a full day photography job. and i'll be the most sought after photographer and i'll be listed '100 people you must know in Asia'.

like what Riz once told me, 'girl, you'll never know what you got until you got it.'

deep down, i have to agree. meeting him up was the one thing i did right after all the miserable foolish attempts of 'getting it right'. hey, i have my 'semangat' again!

lol.


Living my life pathetically happy.
__ib