.young and eighteen.

Do you still remember when you were young and eighteen? All carefree and ambitious. Just finished high school and was eager to venture into what people call 'the real life'. The world seems to revolve around art, music, trial and error. I grew up being crazy and defiant yet very disciplined at the same time. I cant remember exactly how i balanced myself then but i did it pretty well. I expressed myself out loud through what i wear but i managed to stay out of trouble.

I would go to kino everyday after class, looking at design books or read mags. I am not a bookish person, i dont read real stuff, but somehow that place keeps me company. Sometimes, i would take a quiet stroll at the park and people-watch. I kept a diary in my bag at all times so i could write in my feelings everyday. I would go to a hidden cyber cafe somewhere around Pudu to write emails to friends if i feel like it. From there i would then take a walk down the Jalan Petaling to get to CM where i will spend hours and hours hanging out by myself.

Pretty much a loner, huh?

I dont bother much about people, then. I have only a small group of friends whom i kept close to heart. In rebellion during my teens, I chose to live in the opposite direction most of my friends went to. I even dated guys who wasnt from my college; i can recall there were a banker, a rider, a dude from other college and yea...thats pretty much about it. Wait, i dated a classmate of mine once. You've seen the movie 10 things i hate about you? Yea, he's Patrick Verona kinda guy. I dated mr wild. Very dark and mysterious, misunderstood but very intelligent. He speaks five languages and is very artsy tartsy. Remembered how he'll skip class and waited for me for hours at the parking lot just to walk me to the bus stop. One day he waited in a shining beamer to take me out on a date. 'I stole it last night.' I believed him and thought it was pretty cool (mind me, i was eighteen and very foolish) That is until his dad called and yelled at him to return the car before 6pm. Silly.

But yes, I lived only for the moments and the people around me. Most of that has not changed, i am still pretty much a loner at heart and i dont bother much about other people who is less important. I miss being young and eighteen. I miss being so merry and overly optimistic.

Gosh, i must bore you people to death whimpering about my past. Heh. Sorry, i have so much time tonight to write in my thoughts properly hence the stupid curiosity.

My first day of Ramadhan at work wasnt that bad except having to drive to KJ just to pick up a laptop for a customer when the clock already striked 4.35pm was quite a pissy. Right after iftar, received a happy call from London. The usual chirpy 'Hi ibah!' was a bit formal that i didnt recognized Naufal immediately.

I'm gonna resume to Paulo Coelho now. Its not like i can baring-baring and read my book everyday like this.